Horizons Unlimited - The HUBB - Leaving a partner at home while away long term

Quote:

Originally Posted by haggis (Post 379724)

Dear Horizons Unlimited agony aunt

I have been planning my 4 month trip for some time now 2-3 years. I set off in August. OK I seem to be obsessed with it sometimes.

My wife of 10 years has been supportive of me all along but recently the whole tune changed. After a going away party (seeing someone off to Europe) me and several others talking purely about trips past and planned, she has gone all weird on me and now wants nothing to do with it. She is annoyed she has nothing to say when we meet others, whereas, I've been several places and intend going several places she knows nothing about. It excludes her from the conversation although I always try hard to get her involved.

I did want her to come on parts of it but she knows I prefer to ride alone mostly. I thought about the flying her into key places I'm visiting, we already have Paris and Bangkok on the list. she doesnt fare well with dodgy food and can spend a lot of time unwell with even minor food poisoning which ruled her out of India & Pakistan etc.

I was going to delay until next year but it was her who suggested I get on with it this year.

We have booked to come to Horizons meet in Brisbane this year, now she wants me to cancel flight.

I am now simply confused.

I'll try to think as a woman (if that is ever possible) based solely on what you said...

What if she's actually afraid of going to the HU Meeting and getting involved in the conversations because she feels some pressure on her to join you during some stretches of the trip and she actually doesn't want? I mean, you said that she accepts that you go (a big thing already), but apparently tries to get away of the whole idea. You say you are sometimes a bit obsessed (everyone here is!), which for a woman is a pain, she doesn't give a s*it for motorcycles and the like... ask your self: does she really want to join or not at all? Answer honestly, not what you would like.

If it is NO, then I'd say talk less about the trip, especially regarding her and (these sounds very cheesy and I feel this is VOGUE magazine answering), spend more time with her, do something to make her feel as (MORE) important than the trip, as the real core for you, all that bullshit (sorry, I cannot be a woman yet!) to work against that need of attention/jealousy inherent to woman when you do not pay (enough) attention to them. She may feel to be competing with a motorbike for your attention. Women things, just crazy for us, although no matter how they are, they all have a good bit of that attitude inside.

Just a possible vision of things. Hope it may help in some way.

Good luck, safe trip,

Esteban

PD: If she were not interested in going (rain, cold, motorbike, dust, horrible food...), what about you coming back home a couple of times to show how your family and WIFE are the most important thing to you? As said, the key word is COM-PRO-MISE.