Thanks for your replies!
I wrote a dealer last night at your suggestion. The quote I got back was 2640EUR for only 2600km. Plus, they are closed for the rest of August.
It also seems I misread that EU VAT page in my late night sleepiness, missing the crucial AND in "6 months AND 6000km" for a vehicle to be considered used.
I'll keep looking. It's seeming like renting might be the most reasonable option (even though the cost is insane), but even finding one with unlimited miles is surprisingly challenging.
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