Hi there Zebb,

Glad to hear all’s well with you and Henry. Thanks for the tips.

No, they didn’t throw me in jail. But at one point it was a very real risk, incredible and surreal though that may sound.

Two weeks of tiresome meetings at Internal Affairs working through a translator way into the evening hours . . . blood and urine tests, Monty-Python-like neurological tests (Ministry of Silly Walks) and even a psychological test, though God knows how I passed the latter . . . culminated in a court appearance before a judge and public
prosecutor under a criminal charge for smuggling narcotics (for carrying 30 pills without a prescription). The same Article (Article 246, Part 1) which includes trading in arms, explosives and radioactive materials and, just for good measure, propaganda in religious extremism. I actually laughed when I got to read the translation for the first time.

The court appearance, however, ended up being a relatively civilised affair, given the judge was in a jovial mood. The charge was softened, my bike returned to me once not-too-steep a fine was paid, and I was allowed to continue my journey without deportation. Usually, once your bike is impounded you’re unlikely to get it back.

And while I value what was a strong experience, navigating your way through all of that, in a town where no trusted local lawyer speaks English (I eventually got one through a Tashkent firm), wasn't simple. Very fine lines. There was relatively little the British Embassy could do to help, other than recommend a lawyer, though I was grateful for that.

So that’s the short version. And don’t forget to cast a fog over the affair, because nothing at any stage was clear. Regardless of how innocent you think you are, or how absurd the misunderstanding might be, or how respectful your manner (though, of course, this matters) – you have technically broken the law and anything is possible.

Khpostma: you did well, my friend, to get away with the codeine. I too had an itemised list of all kit (which is an excellent idea), but events got ahead of it. Again, it’s all down to the mood of the moment. And I suspect they’re getting stricter.

Serendipity is a wonderful thing when travelling, but in these matters, the more prepared the better.

All the best,

Bob