On British soil, the border official looks over my UK passport and gives me a very heartfelt, "Welcome back!" Wow, after all that ribbing from border guards all over Europe, this felt like coming home... despite not having lived here for decades...

Once through, I hear the same official over the communicator peppering Neda with question after question, her Croatian passport in his hand.

I shouldn't be mean... but HA HA!


On our way to London, we grabbed lunch at one of those gas station rest stops

We've got a list of things we want to see and do in the UK. One of the items is to find the best fish and chips place. This is our first one in the country, from a fast food chain called Harry Ramsden's. Mmmmm, so good! We also learned that mushy peas is a big thing in the UK. Neda wasn't too fond of hers, so I had her portion in addition to my curry sauce. Mushy peas. Not bad...

I'm going to like it here.

We've timed our arrival before the rush hour, so it only takes us a couple of hours to travel from the Eurotunnel port in Folkestone to London. It's a bit strange having to ride on the left hand side once again. We spent the whole winter in Thailand riding on the left, then a couple of months in Eastern Europe riding on the right, now we're back on the left. My brain is getting all confused...

Neda asks me to take the lead once we're off the highway and in the city, since she doesn't trust herself to stay on the left without a median. Heck, I don't trust myself! I tell her to warn me over the communicator if I make a mistake and start driving on the right.

I don't do too poorly. Only one mistake when I entered a round-about and forgot to look right (instead of left, like I did). An Audi screeched to a halt beside me as I cut him off. Surprisingly, he was polite about it, no doubt the Canadian license plate might have had something to do with it. But in my helmet I winced and shook my head at myself. Be more careful!!!

We've been invited to stay with my cousin who lives just outside of the city, but because we're here so early, we've got some time to kill until he gets back from work.


So we pass the time by dropping in on the iconic Ace Cafe!

Nestled in the west-end of London, in an industrial neighbourhood, is the legendary motorcycle cafe. Originally built as a roadside stop, it flourished in the 1950s and 60s as a hangout for leather-clad bikers called "rockers". They raced from cafe to cafe on stripped down machines with low-mounted handlebars, these motorcycles were called... cafe racers.


The theme at the Ace Cafe is chequered flags. They're everywhere!

The Ace Cafe closed down in 1969 after the era of rockers faded away. It recently opened in 2001 and is now a museum of sorts, its walls decorated with vintage photos of a by-gone era. And in every picture, a Norton, Triumph or BSA.

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Gene - http://www.RideDOT.com

Ace Cafe Logo is an Ace of Clubs from the deck of playing cards

Today, the Ace Cafe is a popular spot to hold rallys, both two-wheeled and four. The scope of the cafe has expanded out to four wheelers as well. We had hoped to drop in here and talk with a few of our two-wheeled brethren, but outside, we only saw vintage cars. Our bikes were herded away from the gleaming machines pulling into the lot and we parked in a forgotten corner. This evening was vintage car day and an E-type and a Corsair were slowly maneuvering into position in the favored parking spots right in front of the cafe. We checked the bulletin board and on the calendar there was also German (BMW+Mercedes) Car Night, Porsche Car Night, Volvo Owners Meet, etc.

We are obviously here on the wrong day.


Still, there are friendly car owners who feign interest in our bikes but talk more animatedly when we ask about their autos


After passing time with the car guys, we head out to meet up with my cousin

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Gene - http://www.RideDOT.com

Weng Fai lives about 40 miles outside of London but now we're stuck in rush hour heading out of the city and our wide panniers make it impossible to filter through traffic. We're only a little bit late and my cousin is standing outside his home waiting to flag us into his driveway.

We get along like gang-busters! I've only seen him once or twice in the last 35 years, but my cousin and I talk like old friends as he prepares us a home-cooked dinner. We are staying with him and his partner, Martin for a few days, and they tell us to make ourselves at home. It's not difficult to do. The Olympics are on TV and Neda is hooked on BBC iPlayer, catching all the gymnastics events while our hosts are away at work. Meanwhile, I pretend to work on the blog...

Weng Fai comes home one evening and asks if we've gone out to eat anywhere. We tell him about the excellent fish and chips at Harry Ramsden's at the highway rest stop. "Oh", he says in a way that makes me suspect that maybe Harry Ramsden's might not be a culinary highlight in England.... It's the kind of polite "Oh" that comes after someone emphatically claims, "We had the most delicious burgers at McDonalds the other day"...


Weng Fai and Martin take us out to their local pub where they are regulars. A proper one, not a chain!


The food here is a cut above fish and chips

__________________
Gene - http://www.RideDOT.com

Back at their place, I continue to pretend to work on the blog, but really I'm doing some shopping...


Our Kindles have died, so we ordered replacement readers from a store called Argos

Argos is a catalog store where you can order stuff online and then pick up your goods at the closest location to you. Or you can have it home-delivered for an extra fee. There's an Argos outlet just a couple of miles away, so we ride over and pick up our Kindles in-store. I'm going crazy with the on-line shopping, taking advantage of a UK mailing address to have everything sent to my cousin's place. And also the super-low £!!! They haven't adjusted any of the prices to the new exchange rate, so I'm buying everything at a 25% discount with my strong Canadian dollar! Sweet!

If there's anything that reminds me of Canada, it's on-line shopping for motorcycle parts. BTW, I never thought I'd use the words "Strong" and "Canadian Dollar" in the same sentence...

And now everywhere we go: grocery stores, restaurants, etc, we hear people around us speaking English and it sounds very foreign to my ears, after having traveled for so long in non-Anglophone countries. When we go to pick up our new eReaders at Argos, I overhear a fellow shopper speaking English to her kids. I turn to Neda to tell her excitedly, "Hey, tourists!" before I realize... no, they live here...

It's strange and disorienting in a pleasant way to hear background conversations and actually be able to understand them, instead of it being just white noise. This probably affects me more than Neda, since she speaks so many languages anyway. But it's been close to four years since I've been able to understand what's being said around me. And even more importantly, I am now being understood by *everyone* around me. Effortlessly.

I crack jokes, make puns, people laugh with me and not at me. I feel more like myself now than I ever have in the last four years. It's such a profound experience, like I didn't know I was even homesick until now.

If England was a person, I'd want to bearhug it and never let go. Speak more English to me, England!


Things I love about England... well two out of three things...

The Trooper wasn't really any good. But we are both loving the other dark English ales that we can readily pick up in any grocery store. Our favorite back in Canada was an import called Hobgoblin Ale and now it's sold everywhere! England may be good for the soul, but it's not very good for the waistline...

__________________
Gene - http://www.RideDOT.com

Speaking of which, Neda really wants to show our appreciation to our hosts by cooking them a Croatian dinner.


Rolling the dough for some home-made gnocchi


And then the stew


And to top it off, some Istrian Supa

Supa is made with hot red wine, sugar, pepper and olive oil. It's served with burnt toast that soaks up the wine until it's all soggy. The burnt toast balances out the sweetness with a slight bitter taste. Normally it's drunk from a communal jug that people pass around when they're gathered around a warm fire on a cold winter's evening.


Sharing a home-made Croatian meal in England

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Gene - http://www.RideDOT.com

Weng Fai is communicating with the rest of the family in the UK to arrange a big gathering. I overhear him on the phone with my uncle: "mumble mumble... they went to Harry Ramsden's for fish and chips, can you believe... mumble mumble"

When he gets off the phone, he tells me, "Okay, the meeting's set. We're going to take you to try some *real* fish and chips!"

So far England has been all about getting fat. This is not a bad thing.


Okay, these fish and chips at the Duke of Kent pub were a lot better than Harry Ramsden's!

I'm sensing that fish and chips is a source of national pride and the family felt compelled to demonstrate that there were better options than a fast food outlet on the side of the highway. Haha! Just another thing to love about England, the welcoming arms of my extended family! I haven't seen them since our last motorcycle trip in the UK back in 2007. Since that time, my cousin Vern has had a couple of kids:


And they love the bikes! In the parking lot, we were Instagrammed!


So we found out when Motorcycle Day was and then returned to the Ace Cafe to hang out

Ah! These are our people! Two-wheelers of all shapes and sizes now grabbed the primo spots at the front of the cafe: sportbikes, tourers, cruisers. The people sitting on the patio enjoying their pints of bitter give us a friendly nod as if we were regulars. Home! We go inside to grab ourselves a drink.


Vintage Beeza on display inside.

Here's a British biker joke. Overheard at a local bike meet:

"Hey, what kind of bike is that?"
"It's a Bitza!"
"Oh, do you mean a Beeza...?"
"No, a Bitza. It's some bitzathis and little bitzadat..."

__________________
Gene - http://www.RideDOT.com

Hey, we made a friend! We found out this guy was here to do an interview with a German TV program

As we were chatting with him, the production assistant pulled us aside and asked if we wanted to be on the program. Haha! Cool! Yes!


So she made us sign these release forms

The program was about this German guy who comes to the UK looking for bike parts for his vintage motorcycle. He meets up with our friend who helps him source these parts.


After a couple of takes, the director deems us unnecessary to the program and cuts us out of the shoot

What?! Don't you know who we are and what we've done? Have you ever watched Long Way Round? Yes? Well, we're not as famous and as those guys, and we don't have a popular TV series, but we have this blog... hello? where are you going? come back here...!

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Gene - http://www.RideDOT.com

Oh well guys, WE KNOW you're famous

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My memory is becoming that good, I should be able to organise my own surprise party soon

Updated from http://www.RideDOT.com/rtw/346.html



The last few days have been quite leisurely. But we've lounged around at my cousin's house enough, perhaps we should explore a little bit. We were last here in London in 2007, and we've already visited the big tourist sights in the city: Big Ben, London Eye, etc.

Since we're staying outside of the city and on the west side, we decide to visit some of the attractions nearby. Windsor Castle is only a few kms away. Back on the bikes! After all this practice, I'm doing a much better job of staying on the left and looking right. It's all coming back to me...


"You think it's okay to park here..."? *shrug*

Not a lot of street parking around Windsor Castle. I don't know what the parking rules are like in London, but if it's anything like the rest of Europe, then anything goes for two-wheelers.

I hope...

__________________
Gene - http://www.RideDOT.com

Shopping arcade beside Windsor Castle set inside an old Victorian Railway Station


Staring down a member of the Queen's Guard. I dare you to do this to the real ones at Buckingham Palace, Neda!


Windsor Castle. This is where the Queen spends her weekends

The rest of the time, tourists have the run of the place. The guy at the admission booth is asking each tourist to cough up £20.50 to get in. Even with the recently amputated pound sterling, that's still a lot of money. We keep our colourful British bills in our wallet. I'm sure the Queen has enough of it, she doesn't need ours...

Go £ sand, Mr Admission Booth Guy!

__________________
Gene - http://www.RideDOT.com

British cars, everywhere! 25% off... Hmmm.... perhaps a better use of our £s

I'm noticing more Land Rovers and Jags everywhere we go. I love the new F-type, but it doesn't hold a candle to the old E-type we saw at the Ace Cafe the other day:


Damn! Dat ass doe...


Crooked House of Windsor

This was an unusual building that we passed by. It used to be called the Market Cross House and it was prematurely demolished and hastily rebuilt with unseasoned wood. The house eventually buckled but didn't fall and it was renamed the Crooked House of Windsor. There's supposed to be a secret passage inside that leads to Windsor Castle.

Perhaps we can get in that way without paying the admission booth guy...


Windsor Castle is the oldest and largest inhabited castle in the world. So says Google.

Well, the west end was fun, where to next? How about the big city?

__________________
Gene - http://www.RideDOT.com

London is crowded. The congestion on the roads is insane. The city is ranked 7th worst in the world for traffic jams and 3rd worst in Europe. With that in mind, we hit the roadways on a tour of London by motorcycle! Are we daft?

We're setting off in the middle of the day to avoid the crush of rush hour. Traffic isn't as bad as Toronto where the rush hour begins at 6:30AM and ends at 6:29AM... Here, during non-peak hours, the congestion is manageable. This is because we've stripped our bikes of their ultra-wide panniers. We're now able to filter between lanes, only having to stop when the extra-high mirrors of trucks and SUVS become obstructions to our own mirrors positioned at the same height. Otherwise, it's smooth sailing as we slip between cars like water flowing between rocks stuck in a jar.


In the centre of the city, parking just outside King's Cross Station

Well, we didn't get ticketed or towed at Windsor Castle. So I'm guessing it's okay? Downtown London, parking on the sidewalk... Are we pushing our luck?

We're at King's Cross Station for one reason:


Neda is a *HUGE* Harry Potter fan!

If you know anything about Harry Potter, you'll know that King's Cross train station is the secret gateway to the world of witchcraft!

So here's the caveat: I know nothing about Harry Potter. Didn't read the books. Fell asleep at every one of the movies when Neda dragged me out to see them with her. Not a fan.

So instead of researching every little tidbit about all the Harry Potter stuff in this post, I'll just try to remember what Neda told me once when I once half-asleep, or maybe read somewhere on the Internet at some point in time...


At the Harry Potter gift shop in King's Cross Station, Neda holds up some magic jelly beans

We're shopping for a gift for Tea, who is also a huge Harry Potter fan. These magic jelly beans come in disgusting flavours, like nose goblins, earwax and underarm lice. I think in the books Harry Potter gave a box of normal jelly beans to Hermione when he proposed to her. She said no and decided to marry Ron Wesley instead, and in a rage Harry turned the jelly beans to all these yucky flavours. That's why they're called Jelly Beans. Jelly is short for Jealous.

Neda is in heaven at the Harry Potter store. She is trying on Gryffindor scarves and casting spells with all the magic wands, drinking all the Harry Potter coffee: "Espresso Patronum!"

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Gene - http://www.RideDOT.com

The gateway to Harry Potter world is Platform 9 3/4

In the books there is a hidden platform between train platforms 9 and 10. We actually walked to the real Platform 9 and searched for it. Not there. They mocked up a Platform 9 3/4 outside the gift shop and kids line up to get their picture taken pushing a luggage trolley that's disappearing into the secret portal.

Voldemort's secret entrance to his lair is on Platform 6 2/3.


King's Cross Station is very cool looking with its funky blue steel lattice roof


Out on the streets, there is a reminder to all the tourists which way to look when stepping out into traffic

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Gene - http://www.RideDOT.com

We hop back on the bikes and zoom around town a bit more. About 5 kms away we run into the Thames River. Only way across is this bridge:


Riding across Tower Bridge! COOL!!!


Can't filter on Tower Bridge road, so we're stuck in traffic here So I take lots of pictures...

When I was a kid, I learned the nursery rhyme "London Bridge is Falling Down". Like so many people, I always thought London Bridge was this elaborate-looking one we just rode over, but it's actually a non-descript bridge less than 1km to the west of Tower Bridge. It's a common mistake for people who don't actually live in the UK.

Well Neda got to see her Harry Potter stuff, it was my turn to pick a cultural destination. My choice:


The TARDIS from Doctor Who! Since we are on motorcycles we can just ride right up on the sidewalk and no one blinks an eye.

I'm a huge Doctor Who fan from waaaay back in the day. If you've never seen the show, it's about this Time Traveler from another planet who takes a liking to Earth. Pretty much every other episode is him saving us from destruction by the malicious alien race of the week. His time machine/space craft is called a TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimension In Space) and it's shaped liked a blue police box. Don't ask why. It's just one of those absurd British humour things.

Historically, police boxes were telephone booths for constables on patrol to keep in touch with the central police station. They were installed shortly after the invention of the telephone at the turn of the century and were found all over the UK until the 60s when walkie-talkies and police radios became more widespread. Police boxes are very rare nowadays, only a few are still standing, most of the surviving boxes are derelict and the ones that have been refurbished are basically Doctor Who tourist props.

Since we're here in the UK, I'm going to make it a mission to visit as many TARDISes as we can find! Scavenger hunt!

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Gene - http://www.RideDOT.com

This replica police box is just outside Earl's Court Station.


On the way back, we buzzed the Queen's house, Buckingham Palace, looking for a guard for Neda to stare down!

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Gene - http://www.RideDOT.com