Rest Of Spain
The Rest of Spain...

Electricity crisis averted – we took pictures of the adapter we had borrowed to show to people in stores, and finally they understood what we wanted. Now everything has battery again!

We also bought a Camel Pack – very handy and also a great cheek muscle workout!

We left Tarragona bright and early and followed the coast south. We ended up in La Pinet, just south of Alicante, and stayed in Hostel Maruja. It was an amazing place - the front felt like something you see on a dodgy movie about mexico, (I think they do actually film movies there), then you walked through the bar and stepped straight onto the beach!! We were literally 3 meters from the edge of the water, so we decided to stay 2 nights.

Pretty expensive really at 54 euros a night BUT - and it’s a big but - the food and drinks where very cheap so actually it didn’t work out too bad. In fact a few s and 2 meals there a day was coming to about 30 euros!! I think it was £1.50 a pint!!

We spent 2 nights here and really did just relax. The first thing we did was strip off and head for the waves, then we had tapas, vino y cerveza, and then siesta of course! The next day was spent by the beach, listening to music and playing cards then went for a meal in the evening at a different restaurant further down the beach.

The local English nutter decided to talk to us, obviously very excited to speak to other English people because he just didn’t stop talking! He was nice and normal at first but all we wanted was a few s, a game of cards and an early night, but we didn’t end up eating until 10pm, and a brucie bonus, the food was way too salty! Cat thought she was being polite and patient, but I was waiting for her to tell him to go away! We’ve now come up with a plan to get out of similar situations in the future!



Then we got a fairly early night, but it was a muggy one again so neither of us slept that well, but we got up early and rode the 600kms to Algeciras. It a fairly nice town, we arrived here at 4pm, after a great ride down through the Sierra Nevada, all motorway but the mountains either side really take your breath away!! When we arrived we were very pleased to find a great hostel at 34 euros a night, ensuite, and then even more pleased to find a small tapas bar open where we had a great meal, and 4 glasses of sangria between us for 14 euros TOTAL!!!

Tomorrow at 11am we leave for morocco, Cat’s planned a route around the country with must-see sights, we will be taking it easy and staying a few days in each place, and no more massive mileage days for a little while!!! YAY!

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Mr and Mrs Rixxy - London to Australia 2011 - 2012
www.jamesandcat.com

WOW what a culture shock, maybe it’s because we have only been on the road a week, or maybe no amount of time would prepare you for it.

After being waved through the Spanish border, the whole scene changes! Everyone’s cutting in on everyone else, its very hard to see who’s officially working and who’s not, as the border guys outside the hut have small IDs but no uniforms. This one guy gave us the paper work we needed to fill in and then told us what to do, but he was wearing a man’s dress and sandals! He was very helpful and there was about 3 different bits to get through.

The guards and people directed most questions at me and expected me to fill in the paper work, but normally Cat does it as she is far more organised than I am. But in a muslim country, the man does everything (dammit!). Once you got the paper work filled in you have to wait for a gap in the queue then leap into line as quick as possible. Cat took a photo of the madness and one of the main guards came out of his hut and made her delete it right in front of him!



The guy who was helping sort everything out told me we needed international insurance and did we have the green slip? We said no and he said we would need to buy it, which was fine because we were prepared for this. We asked if we can buy it on the border (as advised) but he said no, have to buy in the first town… Odd I thought, then he said he would not be allowed to let us in without it and it was very important we have insurance in morocco, which we knew!

Oddly though the guy in the border box just looked at all my paperwork for the bike and let us through. The only grumble from him was that we used the photo copy of the V5 and he made me get the original, but I explained we were
headed for Australia and we did not want it to get lost or damaged and he was happy, stamped everything, gave us our green carnet form and in we went.


The guy who we thought (and still think) worked for the border people insisted he get in a taxi and we follow him to the nearest town to get the insurance sorted before we could go it alone. So we did that whilst having a discussion between ourselves about whether or not this guy was trying to rip us off. Well we got to the town, went to the insurance place and then the guy we needed to see was not there and was not back for 2-3 hours. So that was the end of that, he had told us we needed it urgently, but then after demanding 20 euros which I reluctantly gave him he pissed off. So we now have no idea whether or not we need this insurance.


(more on this story later…)
Our first town we headed for was Chefchaouen, a hippy mountain town in the Rifs. Well, the ride here was an experience: a bit hairy – slow lorries, people overtaking in blind corners and on the wrong side of the road, sitting up our butts the whole way, cutting up our inside on roundabouts – but there was also great tarmac and awesome scenery!



Once we arrived in the town we made it to what we thought was the centre and found a half decent place to stay that’s costing us about £21.00 a night. Our first impressions were just mayhem! Not only people, but donkeys, bikes, cars, trucks, wagons, kids, all over the street, crossing whenever, selling things, shops overflowing… We later realized we had arrived on Market Day, which I think would stump even the well-travelled!

We struggled to get the bike unloaded in the madness and then I had to go all the way down the street to a private car park, which I have no idea how much it’s costing as I said how much, he said 20 and I said 5 and he said ok - so no idea what’s going on there, lucky 20 dirhams is still about £1.80 so not bad for a day!! (Turned out to be 10 a day…)

Cat’s Culture Shock….

From the border to the town was about 70km, and I was taking photos and checking out the scenery, and was too busy to think about things, but for me the change really hit home it Chefchaouen.

It’s a big enough town to have tourists (it’s also the hashish capital of Morocco) but it’s traditional enough that most women had headscarves and covered shoulders/arms. I felt quite out of place, plus a little tired and hungry, and I think it just sunk in that we were REALLY far from home!

The other thing that got to me was how to deal with the men. Since it’s a muslim country, it’s respectful for men not to talk to women, to direct their questions to other men, and I’m not sure if I can say hello or talk to them.



I’m naturally very look-up-y and smiley, and I’m normally the one who starts conversations or asks for things in another language, so I didn’t really know what was expected of me; how I should talk; if I COULD talk; if a friendly smile and hello might mean I’m a whore….???

So a lot of confusion and I was really glad to get into our room and have a moment in private

… As a side note, this bit was written about a week before it’s been posted online, so you should know that we are really settled now. It just a big culture shock and takes a bit of getting used to. I’ve bought a scarf which I wear over my shoulders, and even though everyone can still tell I’m a white tourist, they can see I’ve made an effort and it helps! The friendly men we’ve met are happy to shake my hand, and the no-talking rule gives me a good excuse to ignore men who are hassling!

Back to James…
So after we settled down a bit, we decided to get out there and go for a walk. We walked right through the local market, not really sure if that’s what we were looking for, but after lunch at a little restaurant where the young waitress was all smiles and really intrigued to have us, she pointed us in the direction of the medina.

We then found the souvenir boutiques, carpet stalls and main square with restaurants, and felt a bit more like tourists again, rather than intruders! Chefchaouen is a beautiful place and we had a fab time the next 2 days. YES you get a bit of hassle, yes they try to sell you hashish, BUT it’s the friendliest hassle I have ever come across, for example:




- Boss you want Hash?
- No thanks we don’t smoke
- Ok Boss, Boss have you been here long, if not go check out our waterfall its very beautiful and worth a look, big welcome in Chefchauoen!!

So the first day we had a long walk around the huge rabbit warren that is the medina (Old City). Everything is blue and white which we found out today relates to them keeping mosquitoes away as mosquitoes don’t like light blue!! (I am now going to substitute some of my black tshirts for some blue ones, I wondered why they were eating me and not Cat!). The streets are about 4 feet wide and are packed full of shops selling everything you can imagine.

The main square has a few restaurants doing 3 course meals for less than 8 quid and I mean eating some seriously good food!! After exploring for 2 hours we settled on a balcony restaurant called Aladdin, it was about 9pm and it was starting to get busy. The menu was 3 courses for 75 dirhams, about £7.00. Our starters were huge, Cat’s salad would have been a big main course!! She just managed to make it look like she had tried to eat it and they brought our main course out. I had beef tagine with prunes and almonds, and Cat had lemon chicken tagine. Cat’s was good but mine was something else - the beef fell off the bone and it was delicious, both were huge and we could easily have shared one between us so Cat got a few mouthfuls of mine also.

The next day was a bit of a repeat of day one, literally! We had been to the internet café the night before and found out we did need insurance as Ebike does not included morocco, and the insurance companies in Chefchauoen only did cars, so we had made the decision to head back to Ceuta (border crossing) to get it.

We went back to the same place the border guy took us, but it turns out they don’t do bike insurance either, and we thought surely the border guy would have known that, so we really had been ripped off! But luckily they knew another company in the same town so went to them, and they did it, no problems, for the price we had been told. So really glad to get that sorted, big weight off our minds.

We got back to our hotel around 1pm, and then after a quick lunch we had a siesta (still on Spanish time!) and then headed back to the medina around 5pm. We followed a roughly northerly (and uphill!) direction taking photos and looking in the shops until we came out near the top of the mountain and found the waterfall that we had been told to visit.



As we approached, a Moroccan lad said the usual Hello, English?

-Yes
- Ahh welcome, the main part of the waterfall is up there, if you want a good coffee go there and if you want to go for a nice walk there is a mosque on the hill over there, if you walk that way you get amazing views of the city
- Ok thanks
- No problem I not want anything, but I have a carpet shop so if you want any carpets please get them from me
- OK mate
- Smoke Hashish?
- No thanks mate.

We followed his directions to the top of the waterfall, which wasn’t that impressive, but the atmosphere around the pools was very community-ish, with some people washing clothes or carpets, while others played in the water with their kids and some young boys were doing backflips off the rocks.

We then decided we were feeling fit, and Cat had read that if you walk up the mountain along the path behind the waterfall they grow a lot of weed and we thought it would be good to get a photo. So we started walking up the mountain towards the mosque, we walked for about 30 min stopping every 5 to take a picture and take in the amazing view of the city.

As we reached the stairs of the mosque Cat squatted behind the wall in the shade and a voice shouted out “Oi, fish and chips mate!” I looked up and it was the guy we had spoken to earlier! He said he thought Cat was peeing, haha! He asked us if we wanted to see how they made hash at the farms, and we actually did, but we said we weren’t going to buy any, but would happily pay him for the tour. We bartered him down on the price, and he started to lead us over the mountain.

(apologies to the parents who might not want to know about this, so you can skip the next few paragraphs if you want!)

10 minutes he said but it was a pretty long journey! Right over one mountain through little footpaths and sometimes not even any paths! He gave us a history talk about the city, a running commentary on the variety of plants that grow and what they are used for, and smell this one boss! After a treacherous walk (great exercise but tricky in flip-flops!) we started to see the odd plantation, then we came towards a small house (a shack, really) and he started to call out in Arabic.

A guy appeared out of the house and after a few words were exchanged they took us to his garden past 2 pretty large weed plantations to sit at the table and chairs in the garden by a little stream. The wife came out and bought us some mint tea, and we were told the story of why this guy grew weed - he used to be in the army, for 12 years, but when he got back there was not a lot of work and they needed to support their families, so he grows the 2 fields of weed and they sell it to tourists, mostly other Moroccans from out of town.

It was no huge operation, and the guy was clearly not rich. As we chatted the farmer went off and he and his little boy of about 3 bought back some bags, a sheet and a massive bowl - they opened the bag up and it was full of weed, the most I have ever seen, easily!!

Then he said, are u sure you don’t want to buy some, cos if you do we have some fresh plants, and you can buy what we make, but if you don’t we will use these dried ones to show you how its made? We said no, we are just curious. So then the process…

They laid the silk cloth over the big bowl, put the dry weed plants on top, strapped some tarpaulin around it and began hitting it with sticks. The pollen then falls through the silk and gathers in the bowl below. It was nothing like I expected, whenever I have seen weed it’s been the dried plant and you crush up the plant and smoke that, however these guys told us that over here that’s poor mans weed, and if we wanted we could just take the whole bag full of old plants and seeds with us as it was worthless to them!! The TINY amount of pollen in the bowl was almost odourless and they said it was why moroccan hashish is so famous.

We also found out that it’s not technically legal, but the farmers only get fined (about once a year) proportionately, based on the amount they have. Kind of like a tax?

Very interesting indeed, we walked back with Mohammed and he took us right back into the centre of town, he only asked for the amount we agreed and was very helpful. It was a real eye opener and we had a great time!!

Another stroll through the medina (this place is an endless labyrinth!) and we came across a school performing their graduation ceremony, and were invited in to watch.

After another amazing dinner with great views, James bought a fossil pendant and leather chain, and I bought a prettier blue scarf, and now we’re back in our room, planning our Fes adventure…

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Mr and Mrs Rixxy - London to Australia 2011 - 2012
www.jamesandcat.com

Fes - It was a bit of a dump.


After Chefchaouen we headed over towards Fes, Morocco’s oldest city and it used to be the capital. It was a fantastic ride, the roads were great, we had awesome mountain views, then forest, then desert. We drove througb Ketama and weed literally does grow by the side of the road! We took lots of photos, but we honestly got bored of seeing it after a while, it was just everywhere and as far as the eye can see: all over the hillsides, and in every spare patch on ground, even along the curbs of the road. Anyone would think it was legal!

Once we arrived in Fes is was manic straight away - we went from breathtaking countryside to a busy dirty city in what seemed to be minutes. In our honest opinion, we found Fes to be a dump. It literally looks like no-one collects litter and it’s just left everywhere.



We were trying to find where we were going and a guy on a scooter came up and says “Hey English wow you ride here? Amazing, big welcome to Morocco. Where you staying?” We tell him the name of the place and he says “you are going the wrong way follow me!!”

So we follow him for about 20 minutes, but he is not sure of the exact place so we have to stop at and internet café, and he waits. I’m thinking, man this guy wants some money, but we have no idea where we are and he’s saving us a lot of hassle so we don’t mind.

Cat gives him the name, but he thinks it’s something else and takes us to a place very close, but it’s a different place, and the owner tells us that our hotel is on the south of the city (we are north), so again off we go and follow him, to a carpark on the outskirts of the Medina (the Medinas are too small for cars/bikes to go through).



Straight away the car park “attendants” (sales-guys!) are on us. They are trying to get a price from us for the parking, but first we want to check that we are in the right area. They want 60 dirham a night to park, but that’s like 6 times more than I paid in Chefchaouen so we argue, whilst Cat goes off with a young lad to make sure we had the right area of the medina.


In the end I settle for 30 per night but it was a big argument and left me feeling like I had been cheated out of money AGAIN!! But I was happy to pay the scooter guy, so at this point I turned to him who had been with us over an hour by now and offer to say a proper thank you by getting my wallet out, but he said NO, very firmly and said “I just want you to be welcome in Morocco” before giving the car park guys a dirty look and speeding off!

Cat then calls and confirms it’s the right place and only 4 minutes walk (but after following the lad around for about 20 minutes while he knocks on doors and ASKS OTHER PEOPLE where our hotel is!), so the lad comes back with the trolley and we put out stuff in and he takes us to the hotel.

By this point the guy running the guest house told Cat parking was normally 20 dirhams a day and the trolley guys normally get 20 as well. So I paid the trolley guy 20 and he had a shit fit about it and wanted more, but I was angry with the parking guys and refused so he got annoyed. But looking back he had gone back and fourth twice both with me and Cat so the next time I saw him I gave him another 20 dirhams, and we explained that when we arrive, the trolley boys and carpark guys all seem the same to us. He seemed satisfied.



The Medina in Fes was ok, we went for a walk on the first night. You get a lot of hassle from all the shop owners, and to be honest they all sell the same crap, and it is mostly crap. I’m very disappointed as I expected things to be more handmade and original but Camden market has more to offer and probably at better value as well. But that does not take away from what is a truly old and very unique city, and so if just for this reason it was worth a visit and a walk around.


On the last day we got a guide to take us around and show us the main sites. He walked us all over the place for over 2 hours and cost us the equivalent of £10.00 - the highlight for me was the tanneries, which we would not have seen otherwise, what an amazing place!! But he was an unofficial guide, and we had one hairy moment when, whilst walking us back to the main square, down a small dark alley, two pretty hefty men start walking our way and our guide suddenly legs it in the other direction!

We thought we were going to get robbed, but the men walked passed, and when our guide caught up with us, he explained that he has had trouble with the police for being an unofficial guide, so he didn’t want to get caught again. We don’t mind that really, everyone’s gotta make money.

We woke the next morning to a great breakfast from our guesthouse, it was like a mini buffet – just for the two of us! The English guy who owns it was great and as a house it was fantastic, the best place we have stayed in so far: breakfast, laundry done and room with bathroom for just £35.00 a night. After breakfast we packed the bike up before hitting the road again and headed for Dades Valley near the desert.

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Mr and Mrs Rixxy - London to Australia 2011 - 2012
www.jamesandcat.com

The only downside of the ride to Tinghir was getting ripped off royally at our lunch stop. Not much in major terms – we paid about £13 when it should have been £6, but that’s still double, and the guy was just a slimy bastard – spoke perfect English, asked us about our trip, really “friendly” and then BAM! Double the price! It taught us a good lesson though – not to trust anyone, and to always ask for the menu first!
Other than that, we had a great ride through. There were some beautiful valleys and some mad crazy desert and just a road with RED sand for as long as the eye could see.

We passed the place we had originally planned to stop as we were making good progress and it was not that hot. The heat is proving to be a big issue for us - for the next 4 days its 40 degrees or over in the area we are in and this is forcing us to change our plans a bit, and it’s just too dangerous to travel in that kind of heat.


Anyway, we came through a beautiful Gorge, all red rocks and high stones, with bright green oases along the bottom but bare earth otherwise. It was so pretty, and then in the middle was this beautiful old Kasbah (old fort) and they had turned it into a Hotel, so we figured as we were already ahead of our planned stop, (and the fact they had a pool!) we would stop and ask how much to stay there. At 500 dirham, which is about £45.00, it included the room, ALL soft drinks, a 3 course dinner and breakfast for 2, which we thought was a good bargain!



The first room we went to had a stinky toilet - a lot of the bathrooms here smell a bit I guess because of the heat and lack of proper sewage, but this one was a bit stronger then normal. So when I checked, it did not flush and there was stale pee in it! I was annoyed at first as we had not long got over the rip off by the lunch place, so I was determined to either get a better room or leave, and with no hassle they switched our rooms and were very apologetic and even sent someone to help move our things.

We then went to the pool, which was a bit of a cock fest so we did not stay long as we didn’t feel too welcome. It must have been a lot of local people who use the pool too - all the woman sat around in burkas while the men swam and Cat felt a bit self conscious I think. Then we just went and gave the bike a going over, double checked our plans which have changed slightly and then we headed back to our room to relax for a bit before coming down to a decent meal in the evening.

In the morning we woke very early as it was already getting hot and after breakfast we were on the road by 8am. The ride was again great with some fun dirt and sand track to have a play on. We even let the tyre pressures down properly and it made a big difference, the bike just drove though the sand even with the extra weight. Then we came to the end of another gorge and there was a huge desert lake - the scenery is amazing, you can see where huge 30 ft deep rivers flow at certain times of the year but at the moment they are completely dry. It’s like something out of a movie and you are just blown away by how much this has shaped the landscape.



After about 3.5 hours and 180km we turned up at our hotel. We felt a bit mucky when we arrived, and a bit pissed off with Morocco in general. We didn’t like Fes, it was too pushy and smelly, and then the guy on the way out ripped us off, so we didn’t have any trust of moroccans at all.

But our hotel was lovely. It had been recommended on several sites, called Hotel Tomboctou. It’s very peaceful here and very beautiful, we have been to the pool twice and we have been the only people there except the cleaners.

We had a bit of a nap, and then geared up to go into the town, obviously worried it would be a dump or we’d get a lot of hassle, but actually it was great. We found a decent looking place and asked for the menu, straight away he gave it to us and the pricing was great, so we sat and had a decent meal for about 80 dirhams including drinks. We were not the only tourists there and there was a Chinese couple and another English could turn up as we ate.

Another customer, a Moroccan, started asking us questions as he heard us speaking in English, and automatically we have our guard up now, but it turned out he was a really nice guy and was actually living in Amsterdam but came back to visit his family for the holidays. We saw him again the next evening and he seemed a little more “happy” and chatty – now we’re wondering if the restaurant is his only business in Amsterdam??

We found the markets, and it was great to walk around with any hassle – not even any “please to look in my shop”! We met a silver jewellery maker who we bought a couple of bits of for about £25.00 total – I got told off as Cat said we could have got it much cheaper!!



We had another fiesta (SIESTA rixxy! – I’m sure you mix up your words on purpose sometimes!), and then in the evening we decided not to eat at our hostel as it was more expensive then town and we had a good experience at lunch. So we headed into town again, it was a lot busier.

I really love the sense of community here and the fact that everyone comes together of an evening, and drinks mint tea, and chats, or kicks a football around in the square. It’s a real mix of people, but with very few women in the café and restaurant areas.

We met another French-Moroccan who lives in France and he asked if we were looking to eat, we said later and he said there was a nice restaurant 2 minutes away, very clean and cheap, so we went and checked it out and he was dead right, it was also in a great location and meant we could just watch the madness of the town square. Again, a friendly person who just wanted to say hello and offer advice, without wanting anything in return. Our opinions of Moroccans are improving.

We have got into the habit of sharing meals, and its working really well so our dinner came to £9 including a tip!! The guy was very friendly told us he did a good breakfast! After dinner it was getting pretty late but we decided to have a walk around the markets, a lot of them had started to close but again really with the exception of the odd shop its a lot of tat really. The nice thing is we could mostly walk along have a look at stuff and not get bothered every 2 minutes. The people that do say hi are quick to point out they are not local and often offer helpful advice. On the way back we passed a group of lads, one guy must have heard us talking and said something like “Hi mate, English, how you going mate” but just to himself really, so we ignored him and carried on and then he said (also quietly) “well **** you, **** you” but we heard it and immediately cat and myself stopped and turned around. Cat glared at them while I said, “Did you just swear at me?” He went red in the face, and scared and he said “er no” and I replied “humm I didn’t think so……….” It was so funny to see their reaction, all his mates gave him so much shit as we walked away,! It’s not that bad really, I was stupid like that as a young kid but I can imagine how embarrassed he was to have to deny it in front of his mates!!
Our First Off-Road Adventure:
(written by Cat, for those who need this information in advance – Oliver!)

We had a great ride for our first off road adventure today!



We drove through the Todra Gorge and I got an awesome photo of the bike in front of the full 300m height of the gorge, but I had to lie on the floor to do it and I got a muddy bum!

Then we followed a piste which cut over the mountains. At first it was just compact sand, a bit gravelly but easy to ride. From the plains, we could see the switchbacks heading up the mountain, so we lowered the tyre pressure as we started heading up.

I completely trust James but when we’re slipping around on sand and gravel on the edge of a mountain with a sheer drop on one side, it gets a bit scary!

A lot of the piste was worn away, so we followed the tracks in the riverbed. It was dry, but full of small boulders and very gravelly.



At one point we came to some workmen (we had already passed a couple of trucks, they are obviously repairing the road) who had just laid a big pip along the road, but not created a way around, so they moved stones and boulders to create a path for James (I jumped off to photograph) and they literally LIFTED and manoeuvred the bike to help it around the tight corner. Amazing!

We got some great shots, and are so glad we did it (and made it!) but it was hard work – physically and mentally tiring – and we were sure glad to see the tarmac after 40km and about 2.5 hours!

We drove out through the Dades Valley and Gorge, which was more awesome scenery. You can clearly see from the mountain erosion that they had been carved out by an ancient river.

Crossing over gravelling roadworks and around tight switchbacks were nothing now – at least it was on tarmac!
We saw some really interesting rock formations which James thinks look like melted chocolate. I’m a bit of a nerd so I tried to google how they are created, but I couldn’t find any info except that they are actually called Monkey Fingers.

We have decided we really like Tinghir now – it has lots of Moroccan tourists, a great atmosphere and hardly any hassle! We ate lunch and dinner at the same places for all 3 days (best not to experiment too much, we’ve learnt).

Our last day was just a full relaxing day – sleep in, have a google, play monopoly, do some washing and just chill out. We met the owner of our hotel who was a 65yo German, very friendly, and talked to us for ages about business and how he’s in the process of selling the hotel and wants to get into trains in Canada! It’s inspiring to see someone of his age still going strong and always onto the next thing.

We decided not to go into the ACTUAL desert (Erg Chebbi, the sand dunes) because it would likely be more than 50 degrees and it’s too hot and just silly to risk it. So we’ll save that for next time. But we’ve booked Marrakech for 2 nights, so that will be our next stop.

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Mr and Mrs Rixxy - London to Australia 2011 - 2012
www.jamesandcat.com

From Tinghir we crossed the Altas Mountains, heading for Marrakech. We weren’t sure what to expect as Fes had really put us off big cities. The ride over was great, it was about 200km of flat roads, then just before the mountains we got pulled over by the police, I thought I could have been speeding but I was sure I wasn’t. Anyway it was all good, it turned out the police officer was very friendly and he just wanted to play point and ask us, “what’s that? “ (sat nav) “what’s this” etc………..

When we hit the mountains it was more of the same, great roads and big mountains, so I’m not going to bore you with the details, but it was very grey overhead and there were storms all around us - we even hit some rain and a bit of wet roads.



As we got closer to the city the traffic increased and the level of sensible driving decreased. In Morocco it seems to be the rule that if you think your car is more valuable than mine it means you are smarter and therefore you get to go in front of me. This was highlighted when a woman (well who else J) over took us, whilst there was a long line of traffic in front of us, on double white lines into the fast lane of oncoming traffic on a bend, I nearly had a meltdown but just braked and let her in. If I was in London she would now have no mirrors and a big dent in her door but I didn’t fancy spending the night in a Moroccan cell so I just laughed it off but it was pretty dangerous!!
On the plus side Marrakech was nice to ride into, there’s not too much litter and it seems to be a pretty wealthy city. Once we arrived and had settled down we decided to go and explore the city, and we were pleased that it’s a great place!



The Market square is so buzzing, it has everything and I do mean everything – snake charmers, monkeys, magicians, there’s food stalls in the middle with great smells and wafting smoke, loads of fresh OJ stands, fresh fruit on wagons, snail stalls, hawks, eagles and so much more, it was SO so so busy, what an amazing atmosphere, and the great thing was you didn’t get too much hassle. YES you get hassle but it’s nowhere near as aggressive as Fes for example.

So we just walked around and soaked up the atmosphere, lights, smoke, people gathering to watch the street shows, market stalls, food stalls, such an incredible site and thousands of people, it’s like nothing I have ever seen and it made me think that back in the day I bet that was Covent Garden was like, even though where we were made Camden Market on a Sunday seen like a boring stroll though a graveyard!



It also made me think that there is good AND bad about Health and Safety - it can take away a lot of fun and very interesting things but I didn’t like seeing the monkey on chains, and the tired thin horses pulling carts. In fact, myself and Cat both agreed we wouldn’t give money to anyone using animals as they did look very malnourished and a bit sad.

We then wandered though the souks area and Cat bought some funky aladin trousers. She is a bugger and no longer haggles, she just names a price which she thinks is good and does not come up. The guys tried to sell her the trousers for 500 DHS (£45.00) and she ended up paying 100 DHS (about £8.00). She is hardcore and I’m very impressed.






During the day we just relaxed by the pool, it was over 40 degrees so there is not a lot else you can do. Nothing happens here really, some of the food markets open in the morning but the big markets open at about 5pm and get busy from 7pm until about midnight, there’s no 9-5 over here.

On the second night, we planned to head to the square again, so we asked for a petit taxi outside our hotel. We know it’s 20, they kept trying to charge 30, so we walked away, they came chasing down the street for 20, but we just ignored them and walked instead. Screw ‘em.

We could see the tall pillar of the mosque from where we were, and it was a bit further than we thought, but not too bad a walk.

There are loads of cafes around the square with terraces – perfect to sit and drink watch the madness. You really do see a lot, so here are some of our favourites: The fight between local shop owners and a pick pocket they saw working a crowd; The crazy guy, who was the worst magician I have even seen BUT was drawing a massive crowd through just being in the square and making a good 100 DHS an hour – it looked like he was just showing the crowd interesting things like ships in a bottle and swinging statues.

There was also the English girl who was crying, not that I take pleasure in that but she just seemed to be being a bit dumb and blonde and her friends didn’t seem to have a lot of sympathy; The kids begging and looking all sad and poor, then getting money out of some fool and sharing a cheeky giggle or showing off to each other; The stall holders arguing over who had the right to sit where; the blind guy who was begging a another blind guy, but has amazing site that could see coins and pick out the smaller ones!!!!!!

When it gets dark, the little kids switch from selling tissues to selling these flashy-whirly things that you fling up in the air, they spin and then fall slowly, like a mini neon parachute. It was excellent we loved it and we could go sit there every night!!

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Mr and Mrs Rixxy - London to Australia 2011 - 2012
www.jamesandcat.com

brilliant report

have subscribed

Im off to Gambia in March 2012 on a C90, so looking forward to hearing more trip stories

Cheers
Geordie aka Will

This story has three characters – The Wife, a petite Australian who doesn’t like creepy crawlies; The Husband, a big tough guy who will take on anything; and the Cockroach on steroids, at a massive 3.5 inches, who believes in Karma.

The Cockroach made himself known to the Wife late one night when she went for a midnight pee.

“Hello Wife, I am the Cockroach named Karma.”

“Argh! James, there’s a really big cockroach in here!”

“So?”

Not the reaction the Wife was expecting… “Well, come and kill it. It’s huge! How would it even have got in here?”

The establishment was not the sort of place one would expect giant karma cockroaches.

“They crawl up drains.” Obviously.

After inspecting the shower drain with its tiny holes, “Nope, there’s no way he could have fit up there!”

“But that’s what they do, they can squish themselves really small and fit through anything.”

“I think you’re confusing them with cats,” suggested the Wife. “Cockroaches have a hard shell which is why they make such a satisfying CRUNCH when you step on them.”

“Anyway,” sighed the Husband, “just leave him and he’ll crawl back down whatever drain he came from. Maybe he came up the toilet.”

Quick as a flash, the Wife had finished peeing, wiped, flipped down the lid and FLUSHHHHH.

The Karma Cockroach was slowly making his way around the bathroom, aiming for the crumbs in the crisp packet in the bin. “Tell the husband he must deal with me tonight.”

“Argh! James, please come step on him!”

“No, I’m sleepy,” was the excuse. “Close the door and stuff some clothing under the gap so he can’t get through.”

So the Wife busied herself with this task, using the Husband’s clothing of course. The door didn’t close properly, and even though the Karma Cockroach was a Giant Cockroach, he could probably still squeeze through if he wanted.

…

The next morning, the Wife inspected the bathroom, but the Cockroach could not be found. True, she did not search in every nook and cranny, as she did not want to see what’s actually hiding there, but the Cockroach was not where she would walk, sit or put her hands, so she was satisfied he was not in the bathroom.

Before putting their bike gear on for the day, the Wife demanded that the Husband shake out all her clothing, and tip up her boots in case the Cockroach had made a home in them. “Would be the first cockroach I’ve ever seen in a boot,” grumbled the Husband.

“Well, you should have stepped on him last night!”

…

Karma Cockroach had clearly been watching the antics from a vantage point in the bedroom, and had decided that it was time he lived up to his name.

He waited until the couple had just fallen asleep that evening, and slowly creeped up the side of the bed. He decided that the perfect retribution would be to tickle the Husband, so he walked purposefully along the covers pulled up to his chin, and scurried straight across his face!

The Husband woke in a panic, grabbed the Karma Cockroach, and threw him across the room.

After a couple of moments of heavy panting, not sure if he should wake the Wife, the Husband flicked on the light to see where the Cockroach had gone. And to make sure it WAS the Cockroach, and not some Demon of the Dark.

“Cat” the Husband whispered. “CAT,” a bit louder. “I’ve found the Cockroach.”

From high up on the curtain on the other side of the room, the Cockroach silently mocked the Husband.

The Wife was put in charge of watching the Karma Cockroach to ensure he didn’t make a run for it, while the Husband gathered his tools…. a giant wad of toilet paper and an empty crisp packet.

Eventually the Husband, after much positioning and manoeuvring, made a grab for the Cockroach.

“Ah-ha! I am too quick for you!” sniggered the Cockroach as he raced at Lightning Speed down the curtain and around to the back.

The Husband also raced at Lightning Speed to the other side of the room. “I need a better view,” he explained.

“Not from 10 feet away” thought the Wife, who by this time had put her bike books on.

“There he is!” she exclaimed as the Karma Cockroach appeared on the wall underneath the curtain.

“Well step on him them!” squealed the Husband from 10 feet away.

The Wife deftly kicked out her left foot and squished the Cockroach against the wall. Ahh, the satisfying CRUNCH!

At last, the Husband could swoop in, pick up the flailing Cockroach with his giant wad of toilet paper and empty crisp packet, and promptly flush him down the toilet, claiming victory over the Cockroach.

The Wife smiled sweetly and congratulated him on his manliness, “Well done dear.”

They both knew that Karma had been restored in the Universe.

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Mr and Mrs Rixxy - London to Australia 2011 - 2012
www.jamesandcat.com