December 31st I had breakfast and at 6 AM I head out for Espatza where there is supposed to be an interesting volcano. It is such a beautiful day that I decide to just take in as much of Costa Rica that I can in the time available. I want to be back in time for Juans’s party this eve. I see this high mountain to the left of me as I go South and decide to take the next major road to the left and see where it takes me. It was a beautiful route, I climbed probably 4000 or 5000 feet and had another breakfast at a chalet. Where are all the other bikers. Some folks out there don’t know what they are missing. I headed back to Nicaragua and approached the border late morning.
Since the bribe offer coming into Guatemala I have been wondering about the going cost of bribes in general. On entering Nicaragua I decided to lose my exit form and see what happened. When asked for the exit document I played dumb. Showed the official everything but. The conversation (mostly one sided) went like this. Official – “You in big trouble – they take your vehicle- you better find or you in big trouble –look – look – look more. They have a small cement block hut with 2 desks in it. I spead all of my dirty laundry, papers, maps, travel guides etc. It looks like granddaughter Sophie’s bed room.
They are not making me any kind of offer so I say let me call my friend Juan in Managua. He speaks Spanish. Juan isn’t on the phone 3 minutes and they tell him that $100.00 will take care of the problem. I went to lunch and found the form. I tried to get the official to talk about the bribe offer. I asked if I would have gotten a receipt and I got “No that is business”. He said that the country is concerned about keeping track of people entering and leaving and it costs money to deal with lose ends. I asked if he was a lose end and he smiled and said I guess maybe - or something like that.
I decided I would try to find the Capuchin house on my own. No small feat with no understandable street signs. Example: The address of the Capuchin house is “From where it was the old Cabrera Cinema, 4 blocks South, house number 914.” I got as close as I could to the part of Managua that the house was in and stopped at a filling station. A guy was filling his car with gas and I saw 4 kids in the car. By the time that he finished filling and paying for the gas I was replacing one of the balloons that had busted. I showed him the directions to the house that Father Solano had written out. He scratched his head, walked out to the road and came back while motioning me to follow him. He must have gone 15 to 20 blocks out of the way to get me to the house. Is that balloon power or what?
I wasn’t supposed to have any alcohol with the medication that I was on so it was a rather mild New Year’s eve . I had a good chance to meet Juan’s daughters and see some of their talent in art. I also met Juan’s brother Modesto. It was fun to be with Juan’s very delightful grandkids although I was a bit embarrassed by the fact that the wrist watch I gave Ben was a cheap model compared to the one that he had on. Juan has a very comfortable home that would fit very well in any U.S. community. My experience in Nicaragua has been a pleasure and I hope to come back if we can get El Salvador to behave a bit.
January 1st Happy New year. After mass with Father Salano and Brother Victor, Father escorted me out to the highway. The border crossing into Honduras only took 2 hours so I decided to try a road other than the Pan American highway to the capital Tegucigalpa. The tour book gave a good review of Valle de Angelas, a restored colonial mountain village East of Tegucigalpa. It is also called Brigadoon since I could not find it. The road had numerous pot holes and I arrived at the capital about 5 PM. A Federal Soldier stopped me and directed me to their command center. He had a pretty impressive clip in his assault rifle so I complied. It was beginning to get dark and I tried calling the hotel “Leslie’s Place” listed in the travel book as a good budget Bed and Breakfast place. I only got some Spanish recording. The map of Tegucigalpa in the travel book showed “Leslie’s Place” as #13. I tried to get one of the 7 or 8 soldiers in the area to direct me to it but no English and no indication that I was going anywhere soon. About 5:30 a car pulls up and a fancy uniform exits that speaks some English. He tries to call the hotel because he has no idea where it is located. I ask him to point me in the direction of the city center. He says too dangerous. I said you aren’t with the Chamber are you? He didn’t understand. I said,”look it is getting dark and I really want to find a hotel”. With a straight face he says something like “shoot you, bad tourist. We wait for escort”. 10 minutes later a small pickup truck with 2 soldiers in the back pull up. The general told me to follow them and I did. About 15 minutes later I knew we were lost. We passed the same lady in hot pants standing on the corner next to a restaurant 3 times. The truck stopped at what appeared to be a hospital. 5 minutes later we pull up to a hotel. Leslies place closed 2 years ago. I check in. That is the last time that I buy a tour book from the ½ price book store.
January 2nd I arranged for a taxi to lead me out of Tegucigalpa and I did not see one road sign with a recognizable city name on it. The Honduras side of the border was a piece of cake. El Salvador was a different story. I am not going to bore you readers with what transpired. The following is an excerpt from the document that I prepared for our Embassy in San Salvador for the purpose of getting my bribe back.
“On my return to El Salvador, I was escorted by another helper to the same administration building ½ mile back from the exit check point on the road into El Salvador from Honduras. Custom officer Alexander Contreras who speaks good English greeted me in a very friendly manner. From my brief conversation with him I can only assume that he thought I had been told something about the process that we were about to enter into. He said something like we wanted to take good care of me ( or something to that effect). Would you like 2 days or 3 days in El Salvador. I said something like it might be 2 days but not 3. He left into the air conditioned room with a one way mirror door. We must have waited the better part of an hour when he came back out. He said he was giving me a 24 hour VISA to get out of El Salvador because I had broke the law by entering 3 times. He might have said something about a fine, but I just agreed to get out of there. He showed me a map of the exits out of El Salvador and asked which one I wanted. I said any were fine, not thinking that it could make a difference to them where I exited. I was then directed to what I think was their Aduana.
I had given the helper about a $7.00 tip and his friend (obviously another helper) said to me that it was not much of a tip because he had to pay part of everything to the officials. I was waiting at the Aduana for something to happen when one of the officials found some English and asked how much I had paid for the gold wing. Then a few minutes later he asked what those guys (motioning to the helpers) had said about ‘US’. About then they closed up shop, but another new guy who found some English said they would be back in 15 minutes. Finally I told one of the helpers that someone has to tell these folks that I am paying nothing to anyone without a signed receipt. Evidently they got the picture and let me go. I was able to make San Miguel and into a hotel before dark.”
January 3rd I got an early start for San Salvador but about 20 miles out of the capital traffic stalled for nearly 2 hours. When traffic finally moved we passed an area with a lot of freshly cut branches. It looked like a tree was cut up on the highway. I arrived in San Salvador around noon and had lunch. I got lost trying to get out of the city and when I did I found myself on the highway to Santa Ana. I opted for the closest border exit of Cristobal. I was told that I was at the wrong exit and would have to go to the selected exit of Hachadura. I set out on a course to Ahuachapan and came to a sign that said Ahuachapan to the left and Guatemala to the right. So I take the right only to find that I am now at a different border exit of Chinamas. They would not let me through and now it is too late to get to Hachadura. I headed toward Hachadura only to take a wrong turn. On entering a large village I asked 2 teenagers at a service station about local hotels and they thought they knew a good one. They led me to one that looked promising. I had just given a balloon to a little 4 year old Blond lady when this knock out blonde lady came in with an arm full of folded towels. She looked so out of place that I had to find out where she came from. Turns out her husband was a merchant seaman with her brother. She was from Umea Sweden and I said that I was pretty sure that Umea was where I visited a high school exchange student that my brother Dick had in Racine. I had to move on because of no internet or room phones.
On Friday the 4th of January, it took me a full 3 hours to find the border exit of Hachadura. There just were no road signs with that name on it. On arrival I was told that I did not meet the exit time requirements and I would have to pay $1300 plus dollars or they would keep the bike. I told them that they are welcome to the bike. Shortly after that I was told that since it was my first offense, they would accept $500.00. There were no ATMs in the area so I took a bus to the nearest village of La Hachadura. None of the ATMs would accept my U.S. credit cards. I called my son who tried to reach someone at the U.S. consulate in El Salvador. The lady at the consulate asked if I was in any danger, which I wasn’t, and said that she would try to reach April who would be able to help me. Both She and April followed up with phone calls back to my son, but by that time I was in Guatemala. I had my son Western Union money to me. Back at the Aduana the price was now $672.30 or ½ of the original “Baksheesh”. I must have screamed some expletive because one of the guards came running in with shot gun in hand. I paid the ransom and left.”
*Let me try to make some sense out of the El Salvador fiasco. The tourist visa will only allow you to enter El Salvador twice in 45 days. When I took a taxi out to the Aduana for the purpose of getting a photocopy of the document needed by Honduras to let me enter, custom official Alexander Contreras saw a way to maybe get a bribe. He counted that 4 mile excursion another entry into the country. Of course I had never left. Very clever fellow ! !!
January 5th The Guatemala crossing worked well and I spent a leisurely day exploring Antigua and several ancient temples. The Tetons are much more palatable when you are not on a schedule. I wish I had done a better job of making notes. Midafternoon I visited a marvelous museum, freshened up at the hotel, put on my cleanest dirty shirt and went to dinner at the highly recommended Meson Panza Verde. A middle aged couple who recognized me from the hotel as the ‘Moto Norte Americano’ asked me to join them and another couple. I had something in common with one of the husbands in that he was from South Africa and we both agreed that the lady’s swimming suits at the Sun City Resort was something special. His wife was from somewhere in Argentina as where the other couple. I have a place to store my Goldwing if I want it. The food was marvelous and paid for by the guy from Africa. By the time that I got to my room I was not interested in putting pen to paper.
January 6th An early morning entering of Mexico went smoothly and my first stop in Tapachula was an ATM for some Pesos and a visit to a cellular store for SIM chip switch and the addition of some time. The lady at the cellular store did not speak English and was busy with customers. One of the customers spoke enough English to explain that I needed the SIM changed and $50.00 added to the phone time. (roaming charges on cell phones South of the Border is very expensive). I went to breakfast and returned to find that I could not get through to my office or Jen in Puebla. The guy that spoke English had left and none of the other continuous stream of customers were of any help in trying to explain to the sales girl that I would like her to call Jen. After an hour I left.
I got stopped for vehicle inspection 3 times within the next hour. The first 2 times I was required to open the trunk, the two saddlebags, and to stand back. I think it was some kind of a training exercise because the very youthful soldiers did about a 20 minute feel through (including my dirty laundry bag). The third stop came as a real surprise. It was Banjercito. When I passed into Mexico back in December I was not aware of the required Tourist Visa. I had to contribute $250.00 to the common cause of Mexico. I will get $200.00 back when I exit back to the U.S. There was another $35.00 for the paperwork. A school teacher from the states helped me get the cell phone operable. I spent the night in Arriaga.
January 7th I programmed the GPS for Minatitlan and headed North around 6:30 AM. About 10 minutes in route I noticed that I had not filled the tank and the needle was hovering at ½ . I made one of my smarter decisions and turned back and filled up. I remembered that the gas stations where few and far apart on Uncle Edmundo’s directions. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was not on the good Uncle’s highway. I was soon winding my way through some beautiful mountain landscape. There were some hairpin curves that were every bit as impressive as those in the Alps. After about 25 miles I came to a regular highway and a light rain began. I stopped under a bridge and could not get a cell phone signal. About 75 miles further I was getting low on gas. No signal on the cell phone. No problem, I check the GPS for the closest gas station. The closest was 17 miles and I took the given route. After 10 miles I knew I was getting close to the ‘8 mile to empty idiot light’. Still no signal. I snuggled up in back of a semi with the hope of getting a bit of drag help. After another 5 miles, the idiot light comes on and I stop under the first bridge. After flagging vehicles for a few minutes I started tying balloons to the aerial. A guy of about 50 with 2 women stop on my third balloon. The second lady, obviously the mother-in-law, jabbered all the way to the toll booth 5 miles away. When the folks at the toll booth found out that there was a moto stranded out on the highway they called Jose who drives the pickup vehicle.
One of the guys at administration was able to get through to Carlos. He told Carlos that the moto had a mechanical problem and then he lost signal. Jose had evidently brought in numerous vehicles but had never dealt with a moto before. I was enjoying his inept performance, but after about 20 minutes I gave him a hand. Back at the ranch we unload the moto and Jose drove me 4 miles to the gas station. I guess this was one occasion when it would have made life a lot easier if I spoke the language. Of course if the GPS had more intelligent software it would have helped too. I was able to get a signal when I neared Las Choapas and called Jen. That was when I found out that they had been informed that I had mechanical problems. Had I known that I would have called sooner. Carlos by that time had reached them and found out that I was on my way. With the assistance of the GPS I managed to find a hotel way off in Vera Cruz. I guess I always wanted to go to Vera Cruz.
January 8th It has become clear that either software driving the GPS in the attractions mold is either not working or I don’t know how to use it. I would bet on the GPS. I needed to visit an ATM and the first 3 gas stations at 6:00 AM plus in the morning would not accept my Visa or U.S. dollars. The 4th did however. I entered a beautiful mountain climb out of Vera Cruz and soon stopped for a turtle neck, leather and gloves. There is snow on the mountain tops down there. I arrived in Puebla about 10 AM and called Carlos and Jen. With the help of a small bakery shop clerk on the line with Carlos we found out where I was. In about 15 minutes Carlos and Jen arrive and can you believe this? We are heading out for breakfast and the 98 won’t start. What kind of luck is that. 5000 plus miles and the sweatheart machine decides not to start when I have some one that can help push start me. Udulutch if you didn’t have good luck, you wouldn’t have any luck at all. Honest I am not making this up. (Cher will remember the trip we took on one on the 1200’s back in the early 90’s. The starter went out and we needed to find Restaurants and motels all the way back that were on hills)
We have a historic picture of Carlos giving me a push and we head out for Breakfast. Finding a Goldwing service option was a bit disappointing . The first Honda Dealer couldn’t accommodate us. On the way to the next Honda dealer a gentleman waved at Tom and thumbed up his vehicle. Doctor Luis Del Moral turned out to be a successful Orthopedic Surgeon that happens to own an impressive harem of Harleys that Tom salivated over when we ended up having lunch at his house. (their home overlooks the famous fort where the 1800s battle between Mexico and France took place) Doc has motorcycled South America and his wife Anna is also a passenger. She also must be very understanding to put up with Doc’s curb side luncheon invites. I found our experience at their home to be really memorable. Thanks Doc and Anna. I would be remiss in not mentioning charming Fernanda who is a talented medical assistant to Doc. Too bad that we could not arrange for a bit of a ride before I left.
The problem was with the starter button and it was not a big deal. I also arranged for a long overdue oil change. Carlos and Jen spent most of the day assisting me in shopping. Being on the moto I was only able to pick up a few small presents along the way. I usually abhor any kind of shopping but local flea markets can be interesting. While touring Romania with Robert, Jeno, Gabriella, and Doc in 2008, we took a brief run into Poland. At an open market there I bought 13 real leather/fur babushkas (hats) for $11.00 per that were a big hit back home. I think we did pretty well with a good amount of hand knitted ponchos and paintings. I thought I was sleeping with J J (Jen’s cat) but she ignored me. We only made a small dent in the remaining tequila.
January 9th Just a few comments about Carlos and Jennifer. They have been married about 5 years and met at a convention of educators. Prior to settling in Puerta where Carlos owns a home, they lived in the northwest of the United States. Jen speaks Chinese having taught in China for 3 years, some Ukraine having taught there for a year and is learning Spanish. Carlos is working on a Master’s degree in Education and as a team they are developing an organization for the purpose of enhancing international undergraduate academic exchange programs. In their spare time they do a pretty darn good job of assisting inept tourist. The three of us spent a good part of the morning at FedEx assisting in the shipment of my booty to Portage, WI. We picked up the Goldwing and Carlos and Jen got me pointed North at about 1:30 PM. I have plenty of time to make my Sunday flight out of Corpus Christi so I explore options in the Mexico tour book. Tula’s write up on its ruins looked pretty good and it was in route. After checking into a hotel, I checked out the “most stunning archeological site in central Mexico” only to find the gates locked. It is time to get caught up on some journal entries.
January 10th I had a bit of a disappointment back at the locked gates of the ruins. It was guarded by a pack of 7 or 8 dogs of various sizes. They didn’t seem to like the smell of Jen’s cat JJ and let the neighborhood know it. Since no one in the area admitted to knowing English or of course when do the gates open, I headed North. It was chilly but I was comfortable in my turtle neck, leather jacket, real helmet (warm ears), and gloves. The mountain scenery was impressive and I took some time at a couple overviews. The day was spent between mountain passes and broad 50 miles across valleys. I stopped to walk through a stand of tall cacti. I didn’t realize that the base of tall cactus looks just like the bark of a tree. I was told somewhere along the way that cactus is a cash crop in Central America. A 4 foot long snake didn’t seem to like the smell of JJ either. Road side stands were selling bright shiny copper pots and kettles. When I came to a mining site, I thought that I might get a look at a copper operation. About a mile down a rocky road I ran into Check Point Charlie with a gun and no English. At 3:30 PM I was at the city center of Matehuala checking out GPS hotel listings, but not finding Wi/Fi. When I check out a listing that has a restaurant , I enter Hotel Alley and check in. With my workable smart phone I am finally able to connect with my son Kent. Still no touring cycles.
January 11th When I left Matehuala at 6:45 it was 42 degrees and I was dressed for it. What I wasn’t prepared for was the cloud or fog that started after about 10 miles. Visibility was about a football field and got worse when moisture began to collect on the windshield. I slowed down when I saw a road sign showing a cow/bull possibility. I slowed even more when I saw a goat or similar walking down the side of the road. The GPS was a help in that it showed the curves in the road. At the Concepcion del Oro turn off, the mist lifted and the sun came out. The landscape into Monterey was peppered with large rock formations and large areas of cultivated vegetation.
The border crossing into the U.S. was no different than the entry into Mexico. But wait a minute, what about my $200.00 deposit? Too late, I am already in the middle of a long line of vehicle and slowly approaching the U.S. border. Somehow I got into the ‘Priority Lane’ and the first official promptly made me exit into some kind of no mans land. (The Priority lane requires some kind of monthly fee with sticker and expedient passage) I am in some kind of parking lot with no obvious exit. After a couple dead ends I drove through a broken fence and back onto the Priority Lane. I was able to get off between some pylons and into the very slow moving group of about 12 lanes.
After about 45 minutes of bumper to bumper crawling I clear the U.S. border. One of the U.S. officials responds in detail to my question about getting my money back without having to return through the 45 minute crossing. If I go to the first stop light and turn left and follow the signs to Bridge #1, I can park the cycle and walk across the bridge and also walk back. Parking the cycle near the bridge was not possible so I had a good mile walk to the Mexican side. I found a Mexican official who spoke English and he explained that I needed to present the motorcycle in order to get the $200.00 back. At this point I am weighing the value of the $200.00 against some kind of waiting in line to have the vehicle checked in and the 45 minute crawl back to the United States. My German roots won that one.
I had arrived at Laredo, Texas at 1:45 PM and left at 5:30 PM. I arrived at The Amelia’s Landing motel in Port Aransas, Texas at 9:45 PM. The motel is owned, managed, and run by my Niece Mary and her husband Jay Honeck. Jay and Mary are licensed pilots and the motel has an aviation motif. All of the rooms are decorated with pictures and parts of aircraft. They are annual fly ins at the EEA in Oshkosh and obtain many of their decorations from there. My last room was the Mustang Room and when my Granddaughter Sophie and I stayed there back in June, we had the Amelia Earhart Suite. If you get near this Island in the gulf near Corpus Christi and need a reasonably priced place to stay the address is 105 N Alister St Port Aransas, TX 78373 phone 888-671-8088. Drop my name and Mary will probably see that you get an extra blueberry muffin in your served to the room breakfast. mrhonck@gmail.com Jay by the way has motorcycled for years so I am sure bikers would be welcome.

To you that managed to wade through this entire most enjoyable trip, thanks for coming along. I talked to Ms April Scarrow at the San Salvador embassy on January 25th and two avenues are being explored. There have been two other recent somewhat similar citizen reports of El Salvador border crossing problems. Investigators are reviewing custom officials reporting of these incidents. A legal team is reviewing El Salvador’s laws to see if there was any basis for custom official Alexander Contreras to refuse me a tourist visa. One thing that I find to be remarkable is that during the entire 6,214 miles I did not meet or see another full dressed touring motorcycle. The closest sightings were the full dressed Harley’s used by Costa Rica police.

Tom Udulutch