How can a day that started this idyllically (link may be NSFW) turn so bad, that this ride report almost needed to be renamed, “One Dumbass, One Symba, and No ****in' Sense?” Re and I had a blowout of an argument today and it was nearly the end of our trip, as we know it. What could be the cause of this potentially trip ending fight? Why, the water pressure in the shower... Of course, what this kind of fight starts over usually has nothing to do with the actual cause. For the past several days, I have had a short fuse, and Re has been increasingly sullen, and this has led to some friction between us.

The morning started off pleasantly enough. Re and I woke up to another beautiful morning. The view from our porch was of misty mountains and fog on the river. After being up for a while, our thoughts turned to breakfast, but as usual, we were new in town and didn't know what to have. Our guesthouse had a restaurant, but when Re checked the menu the previous day, it seemed a little bit pricey. She had also seen yogurt at a local store, and we considered the alternative of yogurt and maybe some cereal if they had it. If the yogurt and cereal option worked out, Re would pick up coffee at the guesthouse, and we'd have breakfast in the room. If not, we'd walk out in search of another option. While I sat and finished reading the last few pages of my latest book, Re went out to see what she could see. She returned with coffee and nothing else. Apparently, the yogurt was expensive and they had no cereal. Just getting coffee was not one of the options we discussed, and Re couldn't really explain what she thought we were going to do instead. But, no matter, we'll figure something out. We decided we should get cleaned up and head out. We each have our responsibilities on this trip, and one that Re chose is finding accommodation. Over years of travel, we have developed a list of our basic room requirements. One of them is adequate water pressure and temperature. If we're paying extra for a hot shower, we like to have a hot shower. Our bungalow did come equipped with an on-demand water heater for the shower, so I expected a nice, hot shower this morning. But when I turned on the shower this morning, there was a problem. While the water was plenty hot, it only came out in a trickle. The water pressure was nonexistent, and since it was so low, the on-demand heater cycled between off and scalding. While I tried to rinse the soap out of my eyes, Re went under the bungalow to make sure the water was turned on fully and found that it unfortunately was. But no problem, we can always change guesthouses. Except that Re now told me that she had already paid for another night.

This started an argument that went on for a while. But we tried to recover and spent the rest of the morning reading on our lovely porch. Since we didn't end up having any breakfast, we headed out for lunch at noon. Neither of us could leave well enough alone, so for dessert, we continued our fight. We both decided that now would be the time to bring up all of our perceived slights and shortcomings from the last several months. It seemed like every time one of us would try to defuse the situation, the other would escalate it. Eventually, I left Re standing on the bridge and walked back to the bungalow. While I walked, I mentally divided up all our gear so Re could head back to Bangkok and fly her ass home. A while later, Re returned to the bungalow, and I now understand in retrospect, she tried to de-escalate the situation. I took it the very wrong way and told her she should go home. Over the next couple of hours, Re repacked everything so that I would have the gear I needed to continue the trip, and she would take the rest of it back to Bangkok with her.

After everything was repacked, the reality of what we were planning seemed to set in for both of us. I told Re that I didn't want the trip to end like this, and I didn't want her to go. She was still pretty angry, but I told her it was up to her whether she left or not. I said we should ride as far as Vientiane together, since that's where our paths would split, and she agreed that was a good idea. Re said she would think about continuing the trip, but she wasn't sure. Since we didn't know what else to do, we headed out together for dinner. We had a nice dinner and talked some more about our feelings and why we thought today turned out as it did. We spent the rest of the evening talking, but by bedtime, Re still hadn't decided whether she was staying.

One of the reasons we think everything boiled over today was that we finally had the luxury of time to think about how we piss each other off. During our last month in India, and really through Nepal, we were both just trying to either survive another day or get over our sickness and injuries, so we didn't have the time or energy to do anything else. Thailand and Laos have been so nice and easy, that we do have time to notice each other's failings. But they've always been there, so there must be something else going on, too. The other reason we identified was our anxiety over not knowing what we are doing when this trip is over, or even how the trip is going to end. We have been talking about a couple of different post-trip options since before it began, but we lost sight of them in India and Nepal. Since we arrived in southeast Asia, these plans have again become a topic of conversation, but neither of us can commit to one of them. For me, arriving in southeast Asia is also a bit of a letdown. It is wonderful, and I am happy to be here, but it is, sort of, our last destination before we head back to the US. We have plenty of traveling left to do here, but it's the final geographic region we visit before going home. Time and mileage-wise, we're through less than 60 percent of our trip, but in some ways for me, it's starting to feel like the end, and I don't like it.

None of that really matters right now, since I am going to bed not knowing whether this trip will exist tomorrow. But I hope it will.