Hey! I'm living/working in Hanoi, Vietnam and would like to share some tales.
Please comment. All replies positive or negative will be appreciated!

OOPS!
I had my first off last night!

I was sitting in neutral at some traffic lights, awaiting a change, looking very cool on the Cub and with yesterday's left over curry in a bag hanging off the left handlebar when the engine began to stutter and die. Hadn't I given it enough love? Was it angry because I had been lusting over the Honda Wave parked next to me, with its equally lust worthy rider clad in black satin hot pants and tight white 't' shirt?
Slightly embarrassed and being in a mood to make the little bastard suffer I gave it a huge handful and held it at what must have been about 8000 rpm. As the lights changed and the traffic light grand prix began I kept it wide open and stamped the gearlever back into 1st, at which point all hell broke loose...

The clutch bit instantly, the bike rotated and stood up on its back wheel smacking me full in the face with its speedo.
With both feet flailing behind, lying prone on the seat and the bike approaching vertical, I was catapulted high pitched screaming across several lanes of traffic until I regained the presence of mind to fall over sideways like a sack of shite to the ground.

Even now, I had maintained my 'death grip' on the throttle whilst trying to pick the bike up, causing the malevolent beast to circulate rapidly around me like a whirling dervish each time the madly spinning back wheel touched the ground.

I fumbled for the ignition switch, failed miserably and finally managed to kill the howling engine by pulling off the HT cap and break dancing 20,000 volts through my body. After the excitement of the past few seconds, it felt quite peaceful and relaxing. Until the exhaust finished burning a hole in my trousers and started on my leg. I jumped quickly to my feet and took note of the situation. A bent right foot peg and a missing ball end...boy these things bounce well!

At that point Miss Hot Pants cruised by on the Wave and smiled smugly. I tried to regain my cool and pretend that I actually did this for a living. I waved my hand nonchalantly, gave my shoulders a gallic shrug and she laughed, I'd pulled!
Then I looked down and realised in horror that the seat of my pants were stained in yesterday's Vindaloo.

Great story Pete. Reminds me of my very first bike ride almost 40 years ago. Mate pulls up outside of my house on a Honda DAX (mini bike with 70cc CUB engine). I ask him how to start going without a clutch - he says give it heaps of revs and kick it up into first.

I do so, only to find myself in a similar situation to yourself - only I got up a full 180 degrees. Ended up lying on my back with the DAX on top of me revving its nuts off.

Garry from Oz.

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Garry from Oz - powered by Burgman

A brillaint story written with flair, I actually LOL!

I hired a Honda dream for a week whilst in Hanoi 2003 and it was

Thanks for sharing it with us.

Thank you for your kind comments. Hanoi can seem a very dangerous place to ride. There isn't any training here and very few have licences, they just buy and drive. But when it all comes together and becomes fluid, it's like a dance routine and is quite magical.

Lol to Garry! I can picture it now, the first Honda powered spaceship?!

It's not all panniers and top boxes!

It never ceases to amaze me what you can fit on the back of a bike!!!

I'd love to do Vietnam - Top Gear was the final straw

I know it wasn't as easy as they made out and they did a bit of fancy editting but it looked brilliant - and SO CHEAP!!! (can't wait to get a lairy suit made)

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Tom
I'm a country member...

Meatwagon?
I spotted this fellow on the way back from the country. He was in a hurry, I guess the heat was tainting the meat, and shot off ahead at a rate of knots. I had plenty of time and just enjoyed the scenery. Anyway, a few KM's ahead I felt a few spots on my face and thought dammit it had started to rain. I didn't have my wet weather gear and had miles to go so tucked it tight and prepared for the deluge. Then I noticed the road was dry? At the next set of lights, I glanced in a fellow bikers mirror and was shocked to see my face bloodied and sticky....it became apparent that the bag of offal taped to the pig's carcass had split open and had rained gore all over me.

Xin Chau Tom!

Sure, Vietnam is a wonderful place to ride and explore and is a country of extremes. From the bronchitic melee that is Hanoi and HCM to the beauty that is is the highlands and the passes you saw the Top Gear boys travel.

But, as always, there are issues. I'm sure that all bikes over 125cc are banned and whilst you may see them on the roads, I believe you risk confiscation. It would be quite amusing to see you tower over the locals on a Tenere, however!
And I really wonder over the pros and cons of a bigger bike. Yes, you are familiar with it, you know it will take you everywhere but in a country where average speeds are less than 50kph will you need it? Of course, I am surmising that was your plan. You may have realised that small is cool!

I thought the Top Gear special was, well, special! Clarkson was correct, it is the world's biggest pound shop, although looking at the strength of the pound, you may get less now that you could have then. Above all, it's a safe country. The Vietnamese are a friendly bunch, they want to help and are happy just to sit with you and chat in order to improve their English.
Aha, when I say safe, I mean personally! Safe riding is somewhat of an oxymoron. It's not a place for an inexperienced rider. I was amazed that Clarkson got off so lightly, which makes me doubt his 'lack of experience'. But if common sense prevails, you anticipate EVERTHING may happen, you cover the brakes at all times and keep the speed down, then it is an experience that you will remember and talk about down the pub the next day. Please don't see this as patronising, I'm sure you are a great rider and this is not aimed at you, this comment was directed at those armchair adventurers who watched Top Gear and decided to take the chance. I have too many colleagues that have taken risks and then frequented the French Hospital with broken limbs and inadequate insurance.

Hi pete,
Your thread is of most interest as my Dad and myself are arriving in HCMC on Thursday and as it turns out are doing something similar to the Topgear ride(i cant wait).
We do have a contact in Saigon but would you or anybody else recommend where to purchase the trusty Minsk in Saigon?
I see that the roads up north of Hanoi is where the more challenging roads are, have you ridden through Sapa yet!
Your photos remind me of images in Bangalore where buses travelling on highways were so full that there were people sitting on the roof(dont know how they got up there)HAHA.

Hi there!

Yes, Sapa is great riding. I went there last week and I have pics but can't resize, sorry.
As for HCM, I can't help. I've only been there as a tourist but I think no problems. A Minsk should be around $200-$300 and selling it will be easy but make sure you get the logbook, it's a small credit card sized laminated document.

He was spotted going around London on a Vespa GT125, and wrote a highly amusing article about bikes, here Jeremy Clarkson Vespa GTV Navy 125 review | Driving - Times Online.

Just getting my plan back together. Looks like im off this summer, into HCMC then Nha Trang to do a spot of diving, then up to Hanoi to go Minsk-ing for a few days around the Sapa loop.

Ha Ha! Very funny article! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

Nha Trang! Mmm, I'll see if I can dig out the name of an excellent dive centre for you. Great diving there, and great roads on the way.

Still sold on the Minsk eh? Interesting.....

thanks mate that would be great! yep, i checked out the honda but i fancy a propper bike. im a fairly expd rider whos done a lot of hard mileage on a 125. i presume i can rent a bike in nha trang as easy as anywhere else then?

yeah the articles great, you just have to picture jezzas facial expression as you read it; one of complete fear and bemusement!

thanks pete.

I was riding home from work last night, pondering the price/value debate featured elsewhere on the HUBB, when the front wheel dropped into a huge pothole. Wallop! I glanced back quickly and wasn't surprised to see that it wasn't a pothole but a drain. In Hanoi, they rarely resurface the roads but when they do they are baffled as how to raise the manhole covers. So they don't bother, or occassionaly make a small effort by jacking them up with car inner tubes.

The bike started to wag its head, the bars shook and I knew that the front tyre was flat. The tools are tubes were in the panniers. The panniers were on the Minsk. I was on the Cub. I didn't see this as a problem for there are bike mechanics on every street corner, but it was after 10pm and night had well and truly fallen.

I had only pushed the bike maybe 50 feet when I came across a group of young men playing a Vietnamese game, something like draughts. They were sat on small stools and were sharing a jerry can of . Bia hoi is a local brew and is about 12p a glass. They saw my plight, muttered probable expletives in Vietnamese and continued their game. An old man appeared from the shadows carrying a shopping basket full of tools and motioned to me to park the Cub under a flickering street lamp. He could barely walk, although I suspect this was attributed to alcohol consumption rather than old age.

I sat on the back on the bike to lift the front wheel and he had the tube out in seconds. Unfortunately, the valve had ripped away from the tube. He shook his head, passed his finger across his throat and began to clear his tools away. I cried, 'Em oi...?' He laughed loudly, a cackling laugh and coughed violently. He smiled at me and flashed a set of broken teeth then shuffled over to his bicycle and returned with a new tube. Cheeky bu*ger.

He squatted down and with his worn hands and rusty tools soon replaced the tube. He was so drunk that he often fell backwards, but laughed, cursed and continued.

When he'd finished the repair, I tried to ask how much? He wrote in his palm with his finger, 50,000 dong. That's less than $3. I paid, shook his hand and rode off. I smiled as I travelled home, carefully avoiding the drains, and considered my good luck. What an honest man. I love Vietnam.

[quote=pete123;237079]Xin Chau Tom!

<<<<<"But, as always, there are issues. I'm sure that all bikes over 125cc are banned and whilst you may see them on the roads, I believe you risk confiscation. It would be quite amusing to see you tower over the locals on a Tenere, however!">>>>>>>>>>>

Interesting reading. I am planning a trip from Sydney to Saigon next year, there'll be 4 bikes, 4 riders we plan to take 400-600cc bikes. Is this going to be a problem entering any of the countries on route ie East Timor, Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam. Any advice would be much appreciated.
MG

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