Another one hiding behind his avatar!!!
PUSSY
Al theturtleshead

Albert - dude, take a chill pill.

OK, Al, a brief autobiography. I think people are picking on you because (this is just a guess), you're overseas, homesick, and you post on here when you've had a few. I post like that occasionally. Or maybe you are just a nut.

Let's see. I'm 38, from California, have a college degree in anthropology. I was going to do geology but the chemistry, physics, calculus bit actually required work. University is where I went from an amateur drinker to a professional drinker but I returned to amateur status at 30. I look good on paper. Was a programmer for a while but got sick of that. My two favorite jobs I've done were working in a museum and working with monkeys at UC Davis.

I played in punk rock bands for about 15 years. Mostly gimmick bands because I like to laugh at myself (and people who take themselves too seriously). Haven't lived in a squat but I've been in some. I'm also not a musician, but hey, it's punk rock and I'm willing to get on stage and make an ass out of myself. Bass and rhythm guitar is easy to learn. One is a Star Trek punk rock band because I'm also a geek. We're in a Star Trek documentary called "Trekkies 2". At the premier in good ol' Hollywood, we asked Denise Crosby (Tasha Yar in the Next Generation), if she'd like to drink s in our van. She said yes but then we ditched her and drank. I also went to the Oscars (sadly, not for Trekkies 2) and was completely uncomfortable. My date doesn't drink and watered down whiskey was $10, so I stopped at one. We ditched and got a pizza. I think the booze was watered down to keep people from getting drunk and making asses out of themselves (the story of my life).

I don't know if this translates to other countries besides Canada, but I also organize a Marshmallow Peep eating contest called the Peep Off. 30 minutes to eat the marshmallow bastards and if you puke, you have to eat the puke to stay in the game. People have. There's been a few documentaries about that too, but nothing has been professionally released. First Saturday after Easter, all ya'll are invited.

When I was 30, I got mugged, had my head bashed open, and spent a few days in ICU where the docs figured I'd be a vegetable at best. I now have a problem remembering nouns, but I'm a wordy bastard, so that could've been worse. The trying to remember noun problem has stopped me from being a quick-witted smart ass, so now I'm quiet. Luckily, I enjoy other people's stories. I like listening and people love talking about themselves. I'm a lousy converstionalist though, not that I was a stunning conversationalist pre-bashing. Oh, it also gave me epilepsy, which luckily, is controlled by medication.

After that near death experience (I've had more than one but that one hit home), I figured I should get off my lazy ass and see the world. I don't have the money to do it at once, so I ride, get myself in debt, then work to pay off debt and get some savings. Then repeat. Round 3 might be riding from California to Argentina, so maybe I'll find you - at least your brewery.

I'm doing it alone. Although I've had plenty of girlfriends, finding someone willing to go along on a bike hasn't worked out. The girls who volunteered I thought "no, I'd kill you" and the girls that I hoped would go, thought of me in my 20s and figured, "no, I'd kill you". I had a fiance who was working at the World Trade Center when they sank. She got out alive, but lost it. She's the fragile type and this would be a pipe dream if we got hitched. Life can be weird.

Well, okay then. I'm in Delhi but I leave in an hour. I meet up with a cute Danish girl to go on a houseboat out at some islands in the Arabian Sea. I really need a vacation away from India. It's great and horrible at once. Surreal.

-Dave

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Not Ted Simon since 1970!
http://nokilli.com/rtw

Dear Albert,
Not once did i critcise you, infact i admire you.
It takes a man of some modesty to do what you've
done and in such a quite well mannered way.
Do you know Albert, we are very similar...
We could even be twins separated at birth.

So dear Albert as a sign of our new found friendship
and brotherly love... I give my life story.

love n kisses
the celt (your long lost bro)





I,m 42 Pussy with no formal education.Left school washed me arse,moved to Dingle to be a rent boy,smoked a ton of salmon and lived in a tent for about five years.Moved to Ventry to help my grandmother with a used condom business for about 3 years.They banned the import of condoms.Moved back to Dingle,back to renting but this time worked like a demon for 2 years and saved about £2.47 pence
I went back to Ventry and opened a tea shop PUSSY'S PALACE based on my fanatical love of Margaret Thatcher, I,d never had my own business or worked in a tea shop,drank in plenty though.
Two years into the tea shop game I went and got myself a small microscope and started making the best microscopic tea sets in town using the best British ingredients,3 years later I open another tea shop called Fanny's named after my pet poodle.
At about this time I discover the Hubb and start encouraging the passing bikers to drop in for a tea on the way past and pointing them in the right direction for bike parts,tyres etc and also general info on stuff in west Ireland.
A year or two ago I get a job in the space industry after a conversation in the tea shop that I thought was a joke,one thing leads to another and I find an opportunity to get myself into Geophysics of all things.
So at the moment I find myself living on Mars.I,ve just successfully finished my first contract on Mars and just about to begin the second.
The tea shops are still running in Ireland and I,m looking at the possibility of doing another bike related tea shop here on Mars.

So there you go! thats who I am

hope i dont get done for plagiarism

Dave, that is an awesome life story, if I have your stories by the time I am 38, I will be happy. I am going to be somewhere in North America at Easter, so I am sorely tempted to come have a and make myself sick on marshmallows.

I feel I should contribute, after Dave brought this thread back on track. There are a lot of interesting people on this board, so it has potential to be a good thread.

Well, that and the fact that I am bored and experiencing a hangover to kill a civvy. Ooh, wait a sec, I am a civvy now. Bugger.

My life story is neither long nor particularly interesting, as I am a bit of a nipper.

It was a dark and stormy night....

I was born on the 8th of June 1985, under the only June snow in 25 years. My parents thought this may be a sign; maybe I was something special? I have never quite dispelled this delusion. I was dragged up in Lincolnshire and became a studious and speccy tw*t.
I was never picked for football and bigger kids threw my school bag in the river. This ostracism only reinforced my notions that I may just be the second coming.

I reached sexual maturity around 13 years after the start of my story, which opened a new chapter in humiliation in my life. I would rather not talk about it.

Puberty and life helped me become less speccy and less tw*tty (maybe,) and the young Joel realised that girls liked bikes and cool kids like Kurt Cobain, the Fonz, and Meatloaf. Accordingly, I spent most of my school years drunk or drugged, and very little of them in school. It was fun, and I managed to escape with pretty good results considering. Phase 2 of ‘Operation look cool in front of girls’ was to get a bike, so at 17, I passed my test, and bought a CBR RR125. It was a disappointment; lesson, girls like boys with cars.

At 17, I left school, and joined the army. I always planned to go to university, I got accepted by Durham to study English, but one day I woke up and had an epiphany. I walked into the Army careers office in Boston, long haired, leather jacketed and stinking of gear, and walked out sold on the idea of being a soldier. A few months of haircuts, physical training and de-toxification saw me in Basic training in Winchester.

It is a blank. I know I was there for 3 months, and I know I hated it, but I can’t remember anything other than being cold and wet, and being interminably treated like a complete c**t. Not a single detail exists in my head, the page is ripped out and burned. In short; I didn’t like it.

I learned Arabic. I liked it.

I went to Iraq, I liked it, I hated it, it was the best of times, and it was the worst of times.

I came back and got a little bit mental and found sanity in booze. It got bad, so I took a leave of absence and lived in Morocco for a month, and got accidentally married to a lovely lady called Rahma.

Take 2, went back to Iraq. The country had changed, and I believed even less in our petty crusade than I did first time, but lacked the youthful enthusiasm to bluff through it.

Left the Army. Spent some time as a civvy getting cash for ‘Op Live Life, Phase 3.’

Getting ready to go around the world on my Cub. Woop Woop.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Joel

Great stories so far and for once I feel I can add something – I wandered in here from the 4x4 and Sahara forums and I guess I’m not really a biker. On the other hand I was dispatch rider in the UK in distant past and have done a few tours of India (Enfield) and SE Asia (2 up on a Yam 100cc) so may be I am at heart – who knows?

A quick history of me then

Born in South Wales 41 years ago and grew up in Kenya and Nigeria. Got into outdoor pursuits / adrenalin sports when I was 16 and found I was quite good at it – and I enjoyed the buzz. Instructed climbing, mountaineering canoeing ect on an off for about 14 years. 6 months working and 6 months on expeditions trying not to kill my self then travelling afterwards and having a look at the world. Got to go loads of places with mountains and explore places like Algeria and Oman, India, Pakistan ect . Did some overland truck driving round Africa for a bit, industrial roped access in the middle east, all kinds of things. Basically until I was 30 life was very fast and very, very exciting.

Then I had an industrial accident whist driving a forklift trying to get cash together for another climbing expedition. I nearly lost my arm which kind of scared me in along slow lingering way whist I recuperated. On reflection too many mates had really hurt themselves or died in the pursuit of the ultimate buzz and only a couple had survived get a publishers deal and write a book (all of them dam fine reads as well!). I found myself with a ton of climbing gear, a change of pants and not a lot else so made a decision to do something about it..

Whist working on an oil ring in the N.Sea I had noticed that the guys with the most cash and the easiest life were the ROV (remotely operated vehicles) operators, So I formed a plan. Took a year out and crammed an electronics degree into a year, got a submersible pilots licence and tried to get a job. No deal – but I did discover I had an aptitude for writing computer code so I started coding websites and messing with databases before most people knew the web existed.

Inadvertently I had sussed out the key – I had a job that paid well, didn’t need a physical location or a 9 to 5 and where I could turn up at a corporate office wearing flip flops and be expected to be as weird as hell. Result!

Found a woman who at last accepted I was exactly normal, built a house, had some kids, built another house and became obsessed with exploring deserts.

5 years ago I started a company running 4x4 trips and expedition logistics to the weirder parts of the Sahara so I get to scratch my travel itch a dozen times a year and get out into the middle of no-where, sometimes on my own, with the family or with clients.

In a nutshell, I’m really happy and I don’t worry about things like the mortgage, fixing the holes in the roof or that people generally think that I’m a little un-hinged and very irresponsible. I must admit I have tried to get worried about "life-stuff" but in all honesty I just don’t get it. As for the adrenalin sports - I just do the armchair stuff now like skydiving, surfing and traction kiting . My body's to knackered to push hard and I just don’t need the same level of fear in my life that I did when I was 20.

Exellent story,Top man!!
Al theturtleshead

To be honest, Al, I reckon I'm a pretty interesting fellow. I like the idea of a thread where people can talk about themselves at the interest of others.

That said, I'm not about to pour out my life story on the internet to be read by, for all I know, a random bunch of strangies. I am a part of this site to give and recieve valuable info about adventure travel (mostly), not to whitter on about me, me and me. Yes, I know, you may think I'm a coward hiding behind a wierd name and a picture of a cheeky polar bear. But guess what? I don't care.

If you really want a good life story, I could make one up for you. For all we know that's what the others have done anyway.

Good luck with the thread.

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BD.

The useful travel info is on the rest of the site.This is the BAR "no useful content required"
Hearty congratulations on not caring,Well done!!!
Very insightful.
Al theturtleshead

I'm glad you approve of my lack of enthusiasm when comes to other people's opinions of me, and indeed, as you say, no useful content required here, hence my not adding any! But hang on, if it's insight into people lives you want then, who knows, perhaps the HU Bar isn't the place for it.

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BD.

So why bother at all.
Al theturtleshead

I haven't bothered.

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BD.

steady now chaps lighten up and laugh and lets get back on the road..when your on the road you meet people yu like you chat! if not yu smile and move on ! ..may be a good idea on here

jeff watts

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jeff watts

But, Jeff, this is the bar - surely the ideal place for a bit banter! It's all harmless... well at least from my end it is.

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BD.

Come on then Jeff,tell us your story!!!
Al theturtleshead