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15 Mar 2021
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cyclopathic
This is not counting that normal kids are rarely up to adoption.
Adoption is an act of desperation not convenience.
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Sorry but I totally disagree.. I have 2 birth daughters age 27 and 22 but 13 years ago we decided to foster children to try and give them a better outlook in life.
We had some really challenging children in our care and one of those children I'm proud to say is now my son. People often assume that children in care are bad eggs but we have had the privilege to nurture some amazing kids who just wanted to be loved and respected.
My son was taken into care on his 1st birthday after being left with a fractured skull and severe neglect from his scumbag birth parents. We fostered him from 18 months old and when he was age 4 the local authority told us he was being put up for adoption. We all cried and said we couldn't let him go.... Yes the adoption process was painful and took nearly 2 years of red tape (they didn't want to lose us as foster parents) but we never looked back. He is now nearly 13 and he makes us all very proud.
So to conclude (IMO)... adoption is about giving a child a second chance, someone they can call mum and dad, someone they can turn to for support and guidance. There are thousands of children out there who haven't got this support we often take for granted. I wouldn't change any of my kids for the world
I'm 54 now and done a fair bit of European motorcycle travel but I still have time left to do the longer trips in the future.
Cheers
Steve
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15 Mar 2021
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@Bones667 all I can say to you good luck. IMO 13yo is a little bit premature to count chickens you're only halfway through.
As for original question adoption is an expensive bureaucratic nightmare and kids are not put for adoption for good reasons; they have disproportionately high percentage of health, mental, developmental and psychological issues. It is good that you are willing to deal with it but some people are simply not equipped to deal with it.
Moreover if something goes wrong (and it can go wrong with any child, adopted or not) significant number of parents keep coming back and blame it on decision. In some cultures it is a custom to hide the adoption fact, and it might be a good thing.
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15 Mar 2021
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Just to politely remind folks (including me) that this a thread about how having kids might affect your ability to travel. It'd be good to not to stray too far
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7 Apr 2021
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Wow, a topic I have vast experience and knowledge about, a first..!!
Basically Ted, you are indeed at the biggest crossroad in your life to date. Here's your saving grace, there is no wrong direction to take here but there is a right decision to be made. IF your current partner is 'THE' one and the mere fact that you're considering children then my guess is you'll make a good Dad and having them will leave no regrets. It will however throw the anchor out on travel. Having kids and maintaining the responsibility to bring them up safely and healthy is the hardest thing you'll ever endure in life trust me. Don't listen to folk who try to advise you about kids if they haven't got any themselves. If you are are happy with the amount of travel covered so far then having kids now will round off your life in the most amazing way. If you have doubts then tread very carefully. Kids need stability, travelling with kids is extremely difficult and it's only my own opinion here but I feel it's mildly selfish and a tad irresponsible to drag them RTW, I may get my balls chewed for that but whatever....
Ted, it's time for gut instinct mate, good luck...!!!
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8 Apr 2021
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Having kids certainly put the brakes on my travel aspirations but having dogs did it first.
Bikes were no longer an option: in came the Ural, but that never really went anywhere.
Then followed a van, converted for sleeping and that might revive the lifestyle to a point as I hope to resurrect overlanding this summer with my daughters in tow.
A few families manage the lifestyle, but it takes a certain kind of person to pull it off. Were I to try it, I fear I would be consumed by what-if-itis before reaching the first border crossing, but I'd still like to show them the world that way if I can.
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8 Apr 2021
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I can only guess that it takes a lot more ressources and planning to have it both ways (kids + rtw travel)
At the minimum you have to switch from motorycles to rigs.
For most it's not possible to do both. Heck just one of the two is hard to achieve/make happen for many.
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20 Apr 2021
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Sorry to say it but I think that if you’re in your forties now, you’ll struggle to do serious RTW type travel and have kids.
I travelled a lot until having my first at 34. After that, until my second went to university about twenty years later, we had holidays but no travel. I did meet people travelling and home schooling their kids but always felt sorry for the children. They had no stability, no friends, no teammates, classmates. Imagine trying to teach your children all the subjects needed at high school. But socialisation with your peers can’t be taught.
I started travelling again properly once my two were up and running in university. We started with just six weeks, then ten weeks the next year, then nine months the next but we’d been fortunate with money.
Why not try living overseas, rather than move around? Base yourself in a continent and country that interests you and take your family on holidays over there. Your whole year will feel like an adventure as you explore the language and culture around you. I lived sixteen years in the Far East and loved it. Your kids will become bilingual, as will you probably. Even if you went to an English speaking country like Oz, your adventure continues. Do the same job in England and it’ll feel like a compromise or drudgery.
Your children deserve your best shot.
Best of luck mate; I’ve enjoyed your posts over the years.
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20 Apr 2021
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gbags
Sorry to say it but I think that if you’re in your forties now, you’ll struggle to do serious RTW type travel and have kids.
I travelled a lot until having my first at 34. After that, until my second went to university about twenty years later, we had holidays but no travel. I did meet people travelling and home schooling their kids but always felt sorry for the children. They had no stability, no friends, no teammates, classmates. Imagine trying to teach your children all the subjects needed at high school. But socialisation with your peers can’t be taught.
I started travelling again properly once my two were up and running in university. We started with just six weeks, then ten weeks the next year, then nine months the next but we’d been fortunate with money.
Why not try living overseas, rather than move around? Base yourself in a continent and country that interests you and take your family on holidays over there. Your whole year will feel like an adventure as you explore the language and culture around you. I lived sixteen years in the Far East and loved it. Your kids will become bilingual, as will you probably. Even if you went to an English speaking country like Oz, your adventure continues. Do the same job in England and it’ll feel like a compromise or drudgery.
Your children deserve your best shot.
Best of luck mate; I’ve enjoyed your posts over the years.
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Cheers
I think I have come to the same conclusion. I'm heading to Central America in October and hunting for land.
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21 Apr 2021
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Excellent. Good countries, lovely people, quite a few non-Latino travellers with vehicles travelling through so maybe some land with a hostel/bar and vehicle maintenance?
All the best.
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24 Apr 2023
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Ted - how was your hunting? Did you buy some land for later use?
Friends of me did buy land in costa rica - but that was definetively not a cheapie...
They plan to live there after retirement, but currently they didnt even have a hut, house or even a tent.
Surfy
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4 May 2023
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Surfy
Ted - how was your hunting? Did you buy some land for later use?
Friends of me did buy land in costa rica - but that was definetively not a cheapie...
They plan to live there after retirement, but currently they didnt even have a hut, house or even a tent.
Surfy
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Hey !
Well, I did indeed take a trip to Costa Rica. And as you say, anywhere you'd want to live is very expensive. And the general cost of living is cripplingly expensive too.
No kids yet. Fate seems to be playing out.
But hey. The road is calling. I'm off to Morocco for six weeks in October then spending the winter in Australia/New Zealand.
Unless the stork has other ideas
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5 May 2023
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I was really curious about your trip!
Yes, central america isnt cheap in direct comparison The map/website get us a nice view about the living costs.
Enjoy the road as long as you can
With kids you will have to add an sidecar
There is always a way to travel further!
Surfy
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5 May 2023
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I haven't seen that map before - very interesting.
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8 May 2023
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My family thought my wife and I would never have kids - work and travel etc
At 31 we had our first and at 43 our 4th and last.
Our travelling changed but I don’t think for the worse. Just different.
I gained as much enjoyment showing the kids different places as I did when travelling solo/couple.
Our oldest two are adults and youngest are teenagers. I have just started travelling solo again for short periods and these will get longer as the teenagers become independent.
This photo brought me heaps of smiles …
It’s not a mysterious African jungle, but awesome nonetheless
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8 May 2023
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I've held off commenting on here for a while because I wasn't sure how to answer. I do have preferences but there are no absolute right (and not many absolutely wrong) answers.
One thing's for sure though, having kids is the beginning of a new phase in your life, one with responsibility for other people, and that responsibility lasts 18 years or more. If you asked me "Can I take a couple of years out and go RTW on my own" I'd tell you to give your head a wobble. If you asked me "Can I take the kids with me RTW?" I'd say go for it but be prepared for it to be hard work and for them at some point to hate you for it. But if you asked "How about going on shorter trips... maybe a few weeks... with or without the kids?" I'd applaud you for it.
Kids need stability, unlike adults they don't thrive on new experiences and they hate being away from their mates and familiar surroundings. Remember too, your great adventure is their gap in education that could stay with them all their lives.
The downside of course is once you dedicate a couple of decades to buying a house, having a career and family, by the time you're ready to do that big trip you're getting on in years yourself and not so resilient. Erm... like me. Still going though. The kids think I'm bonkers.
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