Tim, I see that you've lost 50kg - think that I may have found them.....

I legally own guns, including an automatic pistol. I think taking one on the bike is akin to carrying a couple of spare wheels on a bike. One might possibly be useful but for sure more trouble than it is worth.

Years ago ( early sixties) a friend and I were touring around Britain on our bikes. both 500's his a Velocette, mine a Triumph. We were not too far from Boscombe down in late evening with failing light not having found a suitable campsite when we rode past a small woods. We stopped and rode into the woods a little way then found a small clearing, and set up camp. I used the machete to rig something over the campfire which consisted of a primus. About 1-2 am we were awakened by a clanking sound coming closer and closer. My friend said to me "where's the machete".
"In my hand came my reply".
The clanking went away. In the morning it came back in the form of an old night watchman pushing his bike along a path in the woods, with his over loose chain clanking on the frame.
So much for "dark imaginings".

I own a gun = I have a small penis and need a way to compensate !


Just my 2 inches on the whole thing.

__________________
Did some trips.
Rode some bikes.
Fix them for a living.
Can't say anymore.

Elisa and I were bush camping in Las Pampas near Santa Isabel, Argentina.

That night we intended to observe and video the "Luz mala" thus far unexplained strange lights that appear there regularly in the night sky.

We were isolated well off the road after riding a soft sand tract for 2 K It was afternoon, our tent was pitched and our bikes nearby with saddlebags locked, tank bags, and most gear zipped in the tent and all was well.

From further down the sand track, I heard the sound of motorcycles as they struggled with the sand. Ut OH...

One look at the band approaching and I knew we might be in trouble, there were five bikes and 5 guys. This was not your friendly local motorcycle club, or a Harley Owners Group, but some very hard core looking Argentines.

I told Elisa to get her bike keys in hand, ride like hell and call for help, if I take these guys on. I carry a Bowie knife when touring.
Bowie knife - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Just as imagined they roared into our camp and I could tell immediately they were drunk, 2 dismounted, and asked what we were dong? The others still on their bikes began drinking again from big bottles

The leader, biggest guy, walked directly to my bike and started trying to unsip a locked saddlebag. I shouted in spanish, " wait a minute I want to show you something."

I ducked into the tent and came out with my "boludometro" everyone in Argentina knows who a "boludo" is... a boludo is someone who is dumber than dirt, sand in this case.... and does stupid things, calling someone a "boludo" is fun among Argentine friends, but an insult to strangers.

I told the leader that we were here to test my "boludometro" ,an invention of mine with the help of a British electronics expert. I intend to manufacture and market "boludometros" that consist of a gauge with a needle and the numbers 1 to 5, a dial hidden underneath and a buzzer. The operator secretly moves the needle by turning the dial and that determines the quantity of "boludo" a person has. When that is determined the operator pushes the button also underneath to sound the buzzer. A couple of years ago I demonstrated my "boludometro" at the HUBB meeting at Viedma, Argentina.

I went on to explain that there are so many "boludos" in Buenos Aires that my "boludometro" keeps breaking so we came here to test it. This brought laughter from the group, so much so that one guy dropped his bike.

Soon I was asking if I anyone would volunteer for a "boludometro" check. everyone was saying check him , check him he is a "boludo." I checked the guy and confirmed to the group that yes, indeed the guy was a "boludo." these guys were cracking up with laughter and began yelling check me, check me. I checked everyone and then I walked over to the leader, still trying to figure out why he couldn't open my saddlebag, I asked "Can I check you" he glared at me and said "You think I am a Boludo? No, No, of course not I said, I am just checking my "boludometro." I quickly sounded the buzzer and verified to the group no he is not a Boludo, that established, he smiled.

Elisa was taking this all in, centered herself in front of the gang... and told the them in no uncertain terms that I had to go find some fire wood because she was going to cook dinner. After all the laughter and Elisa's commanding style, the boys mounted up, a few pitched their empty bottles into the bush. and rode off toward the road.

Hope this helps and you might find cultural centric "artifacts" from the Sahara or where ever you ride, that might provide common ground between you and those who mean to do you harm. I have noted several good suggestions on this thread already. Perhaps a copy of the Koran at hand might work.

Eat, Drink and Be Careful xfiltrate

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Discover how to legally Buy, Tour and Sell a motorcycle in Argentina

Pepper spray would be something I'd carry if I thought I was at risk of being attacked by animals when camping. I'm thinking remote Canada / Russia.

If you're taking this huge torch, you'll only have it to hand at night anyway. So instead of braining someone with it up close, blind them with the beam further away. You can also do that with your considerably smaller, lighter, and genuinely useful LED headtorch. So leave the 5Kg torch at home.

My bike has a 32mm rear axle, which is why I carry one of these:


Even if you don't have a stupidly huge rear axle, I would recommend anyone with aluminium panniers to carry such an object for when 'pannier realignment' is in order after a crash. I would think it's a pretty strong visual deterrent too.

edit: to spell it out don't take special 'weapons' with you, just use what you carry if you think you need to - which unless it's all gone very wrong, you won't.

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http://bigben.to/ London to....? The big bike annual rally.
http://www.mongolbikers.com 125cc London -> Mongolia.

KTM, I know what you mean about the rear wheel thingy. When I got my Enfield I had to buy a 24mm flat ring spanner to get the wheel off to fit a new tyre. It was only later when I had to adjust the chain I discovered I also needed a 30mm ring spanner for the other end The weight of my toolkit has more than doubled since the changeover to Enfield from BMW. Every fastener seems to be a different size. Not only that but they also use the 'unusual sizes' of metric such as 14 and 18mm which means most metric spanner sets are missing the sizes needed.

A long time ago I did some training with people who ought to know about shooting people, hitting them on the head and so forth. One of the big points they stressed time and time again (when they weren't on about shiney boots) was that if you decided to shoot or stab someone you should be as certain as possible that they wouldn't get up and try to kill you shortly afterwards. All the suggestions about whacking people with Maglites and adjustable spanners seem to forget the possible outcomes that involve matey getting hacked off that you bruised his arm and cutting your head off, or the paperwork and first hand experience of Midnight Express type conditions if the *** turns out to have a thin skull.

I'd go for the camp out of sight, see who's about, give them what they want, run away options and would only even think about the bear spray in places where there are bears.

Andy

That is the dumbest damn thing I have ever heard! So how long would my penis have to be before your theorem would not hold true? Do you measure limp or erect? I need to see if I am compensating or just like guns.

You have traded your self reliance and freedom for a white flag. How pathetic. Let the government take care of you huh? This is the kind of thinking that took the greatest country in the world down to one that is just surviving. How sad.

"Live Free or Die" That is exactly why we crossed the pond 300 years ago.

But that does NOT mean that I think that pulling a gun at the first sign of trouble is the best solution. Many of you have the right idea. I would only use a gun to protect my family from death or injury. Not to prevent my food or clothes from being stolen. I have more respect for human life than material goods.

just my 2 Cents worth.....

Oh yea. I guess having the big BMW is pure compensation too. Maybe I should run and hide.

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2009 R1200GS Adventure, 2008 FJR1300
2008 Wrangle Rubicon Unlimited-4" long arm lift, 37s

This one may be an escapee from Jo Momma....

You crossed the pond 300 years ago ?? I love how some North Americans talk as if they did things themselves. As if you personally decided 300 years ago that you wanted a better life and hopped on a ship yourself.

And I have to find it hilariously ironic that someone from the US can say we gave up our freedom. The US is the most paranoid "locked down" country in the whole world. I know this through personal experience as do many travellers.

Anyway I won't get any further into this. I have some great US friends and would hate to offend them and know that the majority are wonderful people. Gun owning or not.

The gun thing is a personal opionion and a huge box of frogs. Polish your weapon all night long my friend. Measure it while your at it.

And FYI, my goverment doesnt take care of me, It's the other way round. Luckily I have to freedom to come and go as I chose as well as my other European neighbours. I might pop over to Spain, Germany or France next week;

I know they wont be taking my fingerprints, retinal eye scans, mothers bra measurments and measuring my nose for potential terrorist bogies nor would our guys be asking them if they came here.

Sounds pretty free to me !!

Anyway.... Talley ho and toodle pip all the way old chap !! What what !

Ride safe mate !

__________________
Did some trips.
Rode some bikes.
Fix them for a living.
Can't say anymore.

I let your original comments be as I did not want to give credence to them.

I've always thought a small, portable sound device playing "Achey Breaky Heart" at 130 dB would be the ultimate (and most cruel) defensive weapon.

I think the "musicians" (a very loose description) in the Jemaa el Fna in Marrakesh yesterday must have been expecting an imminent attack, considering the quality and volume of their defences. They make the dodgy bongo drummers of Salvador de Bahia sound positively musical/defenceless.

I'm off to listen to some Leonard Cohen.
Chris

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TBS.com

OK so we've touched on guns, jingoism, Ewan and Charley and BMWs .
What's next ?

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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light. - Spike Milligan
"When you come to a fork in the road ,take it ! When you come to a spoon in the road ,take that also ."

You have my deepest sympathy .

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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light. - Spike Milligan
"When you come to a fork in the road ,take it ! When you come to a spoon in the road ,take that also ."