Oh the wanderlust partner…

The long sob story (hopefully made short)… Been wanting to RTW for a while. Went to a HU meeting. Got home, told parents I was RTW, sooner than we all thought (Happy Fathers Day Dad) Told the lady friend (is girl friend a better label? We live together, etc.) I was RTWing. Here is where things got interesting.

On the way home from the HU meeting I was dreading telling her and leaving her (tears under the helmet). We talked and talked, etc. Well, she is up for a RTW trip.

She is willing to sell HER house, her car, her EVERYTHING. Leave her friends and family for this trip. She is unreal in every category and she complements me in so many ways. Could I ask for a better life partner, NO, hands down.

WE began planning for OUR RTW trip but lately doubt has set in. (Here is where my ego, my selfishness, my MAN-ly a$$hole attributes comes in.) I would love to have her in any life in any form I am fortunate enough to be blessed with. BUT, I feel I want to RTW solo. Why I don’t really know, I have just always dreamed of RTW soloing, not with a wanderlust partner. We have talked about this and there is no doubt that she can handle her own. (Wheelie if you are reading this I made her read your post in “PART 1”, she is ok for everything except brain worms she says)

So here it is: AM I GOING F*$&ING INSANE for even thinking of riding off into the sunset for years on end solo, when I have the most amazing woman I have ever meet in my life, who is willing to drop everything for this trip?

Take care
WIESE

PS: No, for who ever is about to ask you cannot have her. LOL

sorry this is my only response. Take her with you, enjoy the experiences together. She does not sound like the sort of girl that you would want to loose.

Hope u make the right decision

Ride safe

Paul

Weise,

2 solutions:

Get her pregnant so she wants to stay at home;-))

Or

Do it twice. Once with and once without. You have time enough don't you?

Cheers,
John

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Nostradamus Ate My Hamster

Some compromises are worth making old chap. And well, it's not really much of a compromise is it?
Matt

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http://adventure-writing.blogspot.com

http://scotlandnepal.blogspot.com/

*Disclaimer* - I am not saying my bike is better than your bike. I am not saying my way is better than your way. I am not mocking your religion/politics/other belief system. When reading my post imagine me sitting behind a frothing pint of ale, smiling and offering you a bag of peanuts. This is the sentiment in which my post is made. Please accept it as such!

Are you some kind of a fool. Any woman that is willing to go on a RTW trip is a real prize. Most of us would kill to meet such a woman. Take her with, more then likely she will become disenchanted with the trip and want to return home, maybe before or after you do. This is not uncommon. Take the chance, you will have the trip of your life and learn more then most couple know about each other in a life time. I am very jealous!

Just do what your heart tells you.
If you take her with you, maybe you will break apart soon, if you leave her maybe this could be your own selfproof that you deeply love her after you come back.
Or, you could even lose a precious partner forever.

If she is still there when you´re back, she´s the one, boy!
If she is not, then nothing was lost.

It is just the infinite world of possibilities opening in front of you, congratulations. Anyway, just do it!
Check the voice of the heart, not the brain.

If you think you can or if you think you can´t, you will allways be right.
(H. Ford)

You are not going crazy, you are just starting tu build a life upon your own choices.



Good luck in your decision
Humberto

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THE Motorcycle JOURNEY is making known the unknown.
http://www.morocycler.smugmug.com

I must admit, doing a solo RTW is what i imagine doing. I don't want to do it with anyone in tow.

If i took a woman, i guess the caring man in me would be concerned about her all the time. Is she to hot/cold/comfortable/uncomfortable/not feeling well etc.

I was the oldest child in my family, i came from a poor immigrant cypriot family so it was expected from me to care for both sibling and cousins (seven cousins), i was changing and cleaning kids nappies(the old terry towel ones) from the age of nine years old, burping them, warming milk,bathing giving them medication to them when they were ill and sacraficing my school holidays and socila time with my friends to babysit. Consequently i became a loner through my surrounding, by not being able to mix with my peers.

All my life i have been altruistic. It just felt natural to me. I did a lot for my ex wife including full financial support whilst she studied at university. She graduated got a career and run off with a friend of mine. Thirteen years of my prime years wasted on somebody else.

Thats all changed now, i'm forty six and i will do as i damn well please, i am financially comfortable through years of hard work, and i do what i want to do when i want to do it. All i have left to care about from my old life are my cats, i i have had them since they were kittens, there nineteen and twenty one years old and in good health at the moment. Once they have passed away i shall be gearing myself up for a solo RTW around about 2012. I want to ride without responsibilty to anyone or anything else but myself

Having said all that it does sound like a fine woman you have there. But the decision is yours. What ever you decide you must take responsibilty for your actions and have no regets for whatever you decide. I missed my wife terribly for the first few years apart and now coming up to five years later there are time when i feel low, i still do . I often wonder what she is doing now. How will you cope when your on the lonely road feeling homesick and missing your ex ?

I did a solo six thousand mile tour on my own after the divorce, riding the northern europe russia baltic states, its a lonely road out there mate and it can make you or break you, i don' think there is a middle ground. For me it made me, but it was tough.

Have you thought about a compromise. Like she rides the first leg with you through europe, and then flys home. Then maybe you can ride solo for three/six/nine months. Find somewhere nice and she can fly out to meet you, so you can have a little R&R together for a month or so, and ride and explore the surroundings of where your staying.

I am a cynical old fart now, when it comes to love, i can't even be bothered to have a relationship. But from reading your post and what you have written about her my gut instinct is to hang on to her one way or another. I wish i had now or in the past, a partner that would make the same sacrafice and commitment for me, that your partner is willing to do for you.

It is increasingly difficult in these modern times to find a decent person to share your life with, i am sure others would agree with me here, male and female alike. You must be able to strike a middle ground with your partner somewhere. A broken heart is the greatest pain i have ever had to bare, and it does affect your future relationships, your heart will heal but there always be a scar.

Good luck mate


Maverick Bubble

Take her, more comfortable than a Thermarest!!

Hmmm, interesting. I understand the issue. Solo traveling is rewarding. In many ways. Can be addicting. Everyday things happen that wouldn't happen if you where traveling in company. Things you can do, just because they don't need to discussed (Do I hear the wistle of that police man? nah, didn't hear anything. Or distract that soldier at the checkpoint for a second and ride off...)

Sharing a travel history with your partner is rewarding too, can fuel a relationship for many years... . And being home and having a partner who wend trough the same things you wand trough might be easier then getting home and finding nothing really changed.

anyway, it'll do something

I was raised with 3 sisters and no brothers. I think I'm a caring person, but I wouldn't be so concerned with _only_ her comfort. I figure if I'm hot or stuck in the rain, she'd be in the same mess too.

I started the first thread, and haven't found anyone yet. Still have the same girl saying she wants to go who I started planning the trip with 6 years ago, but she isn't doing anything towards it. Still have a different ex-gf that wants to go, but I'd rather go alone than with her, even though she is really nice.

I posted an ad to craigslist and met a nifty girl (attractive, smart, rides, reliant, slaughters her own cows, has the same "better the experience then living for money" take I have on life), but last night, she sent me an email saying she's hooked up with another girl. Better finding out now, then getting dumped in India for a Hindu lesbian.

As Rachel said, "There's nothing quite like having someone to share the experience with."

Now where is that someone hiding....

--Dave

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Not Ted Simon since 1970!
http://nokilli.com/rtw

Don't feel bad - threesomes can be fun!

Woman...here!!! Great advice Humberto, as a woman I second that! By the way did I mention I am available for a RTW trip, having just returned from Nicaragua for the third time solo.......I'm sick of solo!!!
You are not going crazy, you are just starting tu

okay. this thread has more activity than most any other. Why? Think about it.

I´ve been 11 mos. and 60,000km on the road alone. I can´t tell you how many times I´ve had an experience, gazed at a vista or tasted life so exquisite and enrichening that I´ve had to say, damn... I really wish I was sharing this with my babe...

I´ve got a notebook full of places that I´ve promised to try to return with her with bike or sans bike. If she came with me I´d be saving a lot of time, money and energy with these notes and the future trips I´m going to have to take with her!

Traveling alone is incredible. But traveling with a partner and not just a buddy who wants to talk about the benefits of full injection or Scott Oilers is precious. You´ve got the option... and the choice. Do it...

as my friend Roger once said, give any one man too much rope and he´ll **** it up...

don´t mess with this one my friend. enjoy life and make the memories and share the experience...

smiles,

allan

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Allan - WorldRider
2005 - Adventure & Discovery - 2008 http://www.worldrider.com

yes you are a f*****g idiot.
the answer to your question.
sounds like a terific woman.you don't deserve her.

Wow, tough problem. Some wonderful, sensitive and smart responses from the
peanut gallery here. What a great group of friends to have around, no? !!

Most say take her along. Someone said take her along and figure she will want to bail out at some point. Having seen this so many times in my own travels,
I'd say its a good possibilty. You may change your mind as well. Not everyone
is cut out for the hard scrabble life of 3rd world travel, living off a motorcycle for years at a time, always being a stranger, everywhere you go.

But perhaps those moments of enlightenment Ted Simon talks about in Jupiter's Travels will come your way........You've read it, right? The ultimate reason to go solo.

I also like petefromberkeley's idea of flying her in from time to time. On your trip you will come upon, almost by magic, certain Garden of Eden type places where you figure you could spend the rest of your life. When you get there,
get on the horn and have her fly in.

If you start off together I'd advise NOT selling her house. A car is one thing,
but keep the house. Rent it out. It will provide travel income. If she has to
re-buy, the property taxes will kill her. Keep it. Cars and all the other crap can
be sold off or put up in storage.

You are very lucky to even be in the position to be able to travel RTW.
I hope you appreciate this. Best of luck....whatever choice the two of you
make!

Patrick

Some various "Garden's of Eden"

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Patrick passed Dec 2018. RIP Patrick!