Here we go again!
As in many previous threads -
UK Road Tax is only payable for UK registered vehicles when using public roads in UK. ie within the jurisdiction of UK Road Traffic Acts etc. If not on UK public roads not payable.
You can even apply for a part refund as you leave.
If a UK vehicle registered vehicle is not to be taxed (or a refund is requested because it is not going to be used on UK public roads) a SORN declaration must be made (free) that it is not going to be used on UK public roads. This must be done again annually. It can be done 'on-line' (ie from anywhere in the World) during the month before and after the Road Tax or SORN expires.
MOT is similarly only necessary if the vehicle is going to be used within the jurisdiction of the UK Road Traffic Acts (ie UK public roads).
On returning to UK it is permitted to use the vehicle without MOT and Road Tax to get to and from a MOT Test Station for a pre-arranged test appointment. The station can be anywhere in the land, not near the point of entry or your home - if stopped you be able to show you are reasonably en-route and give details of the appoiment time/date/place so they can check up.
So, book the test as you disembark, or while you are still away.
Insurance is a necessity throughout the EU and most of the rest of the World, so it is assumed you will have that anyway.
Never NEVER NEVER ask the DVLA. The only people you get to speak to generally know nothing!
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