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An ugly white six inches of snow met me in April when I returned to my Denver office in the USA from wintering in SE Asia. I had come back from the Land of Smiles too early. Two days of shoveling the cold wet stuff found me booking a flight to southern Arizona where I stash a Kawasaki KLR 650. The snows in the north melted while I did business in Phoenix and then some desert riding along the Arizona-Mexican border for a week, then it was home to Montana. My reward for successfully surviving the jungles and crazy drivers of SE Asia for the winter was a perfect day of fishing and riding in Montana. Some would say life can not get better than fresh trout for dinner after a day of riding off road in Montana, as pictured above. Bob Henig of Bob’s BMW (www.bobsbmw.com), the largest BMW motorcycle dealer in the USA, invited me to do my multi-media show SUN CHASING: FOUR TIMES AROUND THE WORLD BY MOTORCYCLE at his “BMW GS Day” in Jessup, Maryland. I only do this show on a limited basis, no more than four times each year, and usually by special request from friends or sponsors. Several hundred BMW GS owners came to Bob’s BMW on a sunny April Saturday to kick tires, swap stories, look at new GS models, watch my multi-media show and buy some of my books and DVDs. I tried for two days to figure an angle to schmooze a new GS out of Bob but with no luck. Instead the schmoozer (me, standing by the door above) became the schmoozee. Bob smoothly twisted my arm into donating my 1981 “around the world R80 G/S” for permanent display in his BMW Motorcycle Museum. This motorcycle has approximately 240,000 miles on it and drips oil from every bolt hole and joint. If it were a dog or horse the beast would have long ago been shot behind the ear and buried. Instead Bob promised to put it in his world famous museum next to a pristine 1981 R80 G/S with -0- miles on it, a before and after display, making it and me an infamous motorcycle adventurer. I have known Bob for nearly 20 years and have learned he not only is an avid BMW dealer and rider but has a wrinkled sense of humor like mine, so agreed to his proposal for smoke and mirrored fame and fortune. After the motorcycle was set-up in his glittering showroom Bob wrote that if I would send him the tired riding gear I wore on the around the world ride he would purchase a mannequin and put my used helmet, gloves, Aerostich jacket, gloves and boots on it. I told him I would send the gear, then added that if he wanted the display to be 100% authentic I should also send him the unwashed underwear. I added that knowing my used gear was being stuffed on a dummy made me feel a bit like Trigger, Roy Roger’s stuffed horse. Bob declined on the used and unwashed unterhosen but came back at me with, “Look at it this way Greg, we're taking the gear off one dummy and putting it on another.” |
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My 1981 R80 G/S pictured above was far from what the BMW company advertised or promoted as a solid world tourer. The only parts not repaired or replaced were the rod and main bearings. The frame and forks are so tired that when I gave it gas or applied the brakes I could feel the frame and forks bend and twist. Not only did this motorcycle see the ends of the earth, it also managed Alaska numerous times, and when my other bikes would not start in August, it was hauled out of my studio for the annual BIG DOG ADVENTURE RIDE. Sometimes when I looked at it I could almost feel it weeping, knowing I was planning some more abuse for it. I have never given a name to one of my motorcycles. To me they are machines, and while I have a fondness for some (and hatred for others), I can make no sense out of personalizing or trying to humanize a mass of metal, oil and plastic. Some motorcycles owners do the opposite, give the machine a name. I suspect it may be like those men who physically enjoy the company of rubberized woman life size, blow-up companions, some psychological need to be connected with their Alice or Inga. One of the BMW GS aficionados familiar with my museum machine asked me what its name was. I told him it did not have a name, that it was just a bike. He gasped, as if taken aback by some major flaw in my psychological globe trotting make-up. He astoundingly asked, “You lived with that motorcycle for nearly a quarter of a million miles and you didn’t name it? It needs a name, especially if it’s going to be in a museum.” I thought for a few seconds, then said, “OK, let’s call it Helga. I knew a Helga, someone who really thought they were doing something special, riding here and there, doing press conferences about their travels, talking to TV stations, to the point their head became so big I often wondered how they got through doors. It’s the same with this motorcycle; the heads are so wide I often could not get it through doorways. So let it be Helga.” If you are on the East Coast of the USA stop in Bob’s BMW in Jessup, Maryland. Bob is building a new and bigger BMW Motorcycle Museum. Say “Hi” to Helga for me, then remember I have written that it let me down in some of the worst places on the planet, repeatedly broke when I needed to move, and generally gave me enough fodder for a book titled “BITCH AND THE ART OF MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE.” The month of May found me on the other side of the USA, in Auburn, California. There I did my multi-media show for another BMW group at the 49er BMW Rally. I generally beg off going to motorcycle rallies but this group’s organizer was a BMW GS arm twister like Bob Henig, promising me fame, fortune and a chance to meet a “kinder, gentler” rally rat than those needing to validate their purchase of a particular brand of motorcycle. He also offered immediate payment that immediately rang my cash flow bell. |
July 27, 2000, Going Out Again - 'Round The World October 4, 2000, Why Another Long Ride, The Plan, and Mr. Fish October 10, 2000, the beginning, in America on an Indian November 6, 2000, AMAZONAS-Tamed By Beasts in Brazil November 22, 2000, Monster Cow, Wolpertinger and Autobahn Crawling Across Europe December 22, 2000, Enfield 500 Bullet, India Motorcycle Dementia, Ozoned Harley-Davidsons and Gold Wings December 25, 2000, Yeti on a Harley-Davidson, Nepal By Enfield, No Carnet Sexpedition January 1, 2001, Haunting Yeti January 25, 2001, Monkey Soccer, Asian Feet, Air 'em Up: Bhutan and Sikkim February 12, 2001, Midgets, Carnetless, Steve McQueen on Enfield, Bangladesh February 20, 2001, Higgledypiggledy, Salacity, and Zymurgy - India March 20, 2001, Road warriors, sand, oil leaks - meditating out of India April 8, 2001, Bike Cops, Elephants, and Same-Same - Thailand May 1, 2001, Little Bikes, Millions of Bikes, Island Riding - Taiwan May 15, 2001, Harley-Davidson, Mother Road and Super Slabs - America June 8 , 2001, Crossing The Crazy Woman With A Harley-Davidson, Indian, BMW, Amazonas, Enfield, Hartford, SYM, Honda January 1, 2002, Donged, Bonged, and Gonged - Burma January 20, 2002, Secrets of The Golden Triangle - Thailand March 31, 2002, Bear Wakes, Aims Green Machine Around The World April 10, 2002, Moto Cuba - Crashes, Customs and El Jefe (Fidel) May 20, 2002, Europe and The Roads South to Africa June 10, 2002, Morocco Motorcycling, Thieves and Good Roads July 30, 2002, Russia – Hard and Soft, By Motorcycle August 30, 2002, USA – American Roadkill, Shipping Bikes and BIG DOGS September 30, 2002, Good Times Roll Home, Riding With Clothes On, Team Green - USA November, 2002, Mexico By Motorcycle - Gringos, Little Norman Bad Cock, and Bandits March 2003, Laos by motorcycle - Guerrillas, Mekong Beering, and Plain of Coffins July, 2003, Alaska by motorcycle – Deadhorse, Fish Story and Alaskan Bush January 2004, Angkor, Bombed Out Roads and Dog Eaters - Cambodia April, 2004, Minsking, Uncle Ho and Snake Wine August 2004, Around The World Again, 1st Tag Deadhorse February 2005, Colombia To The End Of The Earth - South America January 2006, My Marriage, Long Strange Ride, Montana Nights May 2006, Cherry Girls, Rebels, Crash and Volcano - Philippines September 2006, Break Bike Mountain Ride – United States March 2007, Kawasaki Cult Bike “No Stranger To Danger Expedition” - Thailand and Cambodia November 2007, Lone Wolf Wanders: Bears, Moose, Buffalo, Fish April 2009, Global Adventure Roaming: Burma through the USA to headhunters on Borneo February 2010, Adventure Motorcycle Travel: Expedition to Alaska, then Java May 2013, The World Motorcycle Adventure Continues | ||
Copyright © Dr. Gregory W. Frazier 1999- All Rights Reserved.
Thoughts and opinions expressed here are those of the author, and not necessarily Horizons Unlimited
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