packing for the mountians of the great white north (with humor, please)

[narly]

I'm posting this to relieve the mind-numbing mid-winter, I-am-not-riding-my-bike, blues, not because I really have anything serious to talk about.
The main "topic" if you will, is what to pack for the great white north (no serious word of authority here, folks), and the second is to lament about how few women riders grace the roads up here (of course this isn't a serious topic. It's just a chance for giving male-whining airtime).

Let me start with sleeping bags.
The first bitch is...............in the dead of summer, you actually need one. I found that a light one (squeeze to the size of a bread loaf) will work....if you are also willing to wear most of your clothing on the cooler nights. Point being, that in the mountains (like the deserts), the nights can get uncomforably cool.

And what shirt do you wear (assuming a fair distance travelled accross the mountains)? Since it is summer (let's assume), would several cotton T shirts suffice? Only if you find hypothermia a truly entertaining event. OK, then a bunch of "polar fleece" pullovers should fit the bill. They certianly will...if you prescribe to the: "I need to cut weight in a hurry, beleive sweating off several pound of water is the answer and I don't mind smelling like a skunk for the duration of my trip" school of thought.
I don't know about the rest of you, but I found travelling though the canadian rockies could give you temperatures that ranged from "I can't feel my face anymore and I hope that thing rattling around in my helmet isn't my ear" to "sure got hot quick...what's that smell....I think my hair just burst into flame". This could all happen within a 8 hour period.

Water, thankfully, is a simpler matter. There is lots of public access to clean treated water, and lots of easily filtered water comes from numerous mountain sources.
I carry three liters of water on my bike at all times and a 3 micron filter should handle the protoza and bacteria that are found in the rocky mountain water. The filter is handy alternative to screwing up, being thirsty and ending up spending time boiling water. Skip the above measures if you are a dance fan and wouldn't want to pass up the oppertunity to learn a new dance step (Beaver fever, the Aztec Two Step, also called the 48hr kick at the can).


Flashlights: Mountains are usually fabulous places to view stars. They appear stunningly bright. This doesn't help the fact that night comes on in the mountains with the speed of a falling brick. And black. You don't know black until you've seen a mountain night. Stumbling around in the mountains after dark is a recipe for disaster.
The new LED flashlights are fabulous. Most will give at least 24 hrs of life off a set of batteries. Far more time can now be spent with one of these, stumbling about, cursing and swearing at the tent you are trying to set up in the rain (many flashlights, like mini-magnalite and Pelican, are waterproof).

Things needed to protect yourself from the local wildlife. I actually pack both bug spray (deet) and have a head bug net for when I tramp about. On my last trip, I didn't find the bugs bad, but that could have been just good luck at that particular time. Netting and spray is standart stock for most of us, regardless of where we travel. Speaking of bugs, I do beleive that Manitoba hold the place of pride for buggy biters. This is the only place on earth where the damn things can get you, regardless of how little time you spend standing still. A stop light can prove to be your demise.
OH, ya, the big stuff - bears. I have read posts on different E-boards asking about carrying firearms for protection against bears in Canada. If you think bears are a real concern, wait till you see what the courts in Canada are going to do to you if you are caught with a unregistered firearm in Canada, let alone if you actually shoot a bear with one. The bear danger is nothing in comparison. You will wish you had stuck your bare little ass in the bear's face and invited the bear to chew it off.
I trust to bear spray, common sense, and proper storage of food in my camp site.

All for now - the post continues.