Great stuff! Only read a few paragraphs in so far ... but will get through it all eventually!
An occasional Pic between paragraphs would really make this tome easier to read!
Two friends bought NEW Goldwings back in round 2010 or so. Love them. Both guys also own R12GS's, one a Tenere and dirt bikes, DR650's and such. Very experienced riders with decades experience, dozens of bikes owned.
I've followed my buddy as he rode 2 Up on his Wing through some challenging bends, me behind on my 1050 Tiger. His pace was remarkable! But of course he had his Wing's suspension totally re-done. Apparently, in Wing world there are several "specialists" who do ONLY WINGS. This same guy rode 2 up to Alaska ... did lots of dirt, gravel and mud roads up there. Harrowing but he claims he never fell down!
I finally got a short test ride on his Wing. I was astounded how light the bike rides. But bit scary to come to to stop on uncertain surface ... I'm only 5' 6", 29" inseam. But somehow survived and did not fall over.

The thing is just SO HUGE ... but I guess you get used to it?
Looking forward to continuing the story ...
PS: I hope you found the real "Muscle Beach". Original is no longer really there. The Muscle head guys now all go to Venice Beach, (just 1.5 mile South from Santa Monica pier) to the Venice Paddle Ball courts, where "new" Muscle beach is. You can even meet Arnold there on occasion, as his gym is near by.
I am a native of the area but now live in Nor Cal.