Hi Josh,

As everyone else has said, you're the only one who can decide. But as far as the relationship is concerned, I will chip in my 2p. You say she doesn't want to go with you, and that you don't have that much in common. Not that big a deal - you obviously have something that brought you together and makes this such a big decision, and I think relationships are built as much on how people differ as on how similar they are (though I must admit my eyes glaze over slightly when my other half talks at length about military history!!). And there is a lot of talk about whether she'll wait for you or not. But the other question, to my mind, is what is she going to do while she waits? What does she do when you're off seeking adventure, whether that's a years-long trip round the world or a weekend hiking?
My ex-husband was (and still is) kind, caring, loving, considerate and generally a lovely guy. He would never have stopped me doing anything I wanted to do (within reason!), and we were married and had bought a house. We're still friends. But the marriage fell apart as I realised that every time I came back from somewhere, be that biking, kayaking, travelling, even trips away with work (which given that I work in an industry where people act surprised if you don't have a hangover on day 2 of an away gig is possibly more fun than for most), I'd have tales to tell and new, interesting people I'd met. He would always be there - but he wouldn't have anything to tell me in exchange (made worse by the fact that he rarely socialised and worked from home). Eventually i realised that everything that mattered to me, all the experiences that made me who I was, would take place without him.
The differences between you and your partner have to lead to an exchange of experiences and outlooks on life. If the thought of being settled bores you, but she likes the idea, and travel bores her, but thrills you, will you have anything to say that interests the other?
I've possibly taken it to the other extreme now, as tomorrow I take my boyfriend to the airport so he can fly to Kenya and learn to clear landmines, but we've been together now nearly as long as my ex and I were, and life is full of exciting plans and projects for both of us.

Hope that helps, as getting married and buying a house is a very excessive way of finding this out. Although we did make £6000 on the house in 6 months!

Laura

she watches tv . most of the time, and your right we have nothing to talk about, but she does humor me by listening and looking at my pictures
cheers
josh

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"imagine all the people sharing all the world"

Yes, Birdy make a very salient point and travelling solo does have highs, but also very lonely lows.

I think it's amplified for Birdy at the moment, as he's sitting in an sandstorm in Morroco, Optrex in hand. Sorry to hear about your soggy trip through France and Spain, but best to get the lows over at the start of a trip, eh Birdy?

Great advice from someone who knows and who is on the road as we type.

Cheers


Chris

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[/SIZE] "Live dangerously for as long as you can!"

this is the same as i posted and adv and it applies here as well so have at it

im getting all kinds of support for going from everyone and i greatly appreciate it. i have to say i think that you are right it is something that i should do and if i didnt i would regret it later on down the line for numerous reasons. im definitely going to try to make it work between us and give her lots of options because she is great but as of today i wont be letting her/us stop me from going.
i also would like to know what else you guys think about the trip. do you think its possible on $9000 US, thats about $24.65 a day, it would severely limit my range but give me the time to take it all in. im thinking i could use $5 a day for food, cook my own stuff of course and fish in my down time (i would not count on catching fish im a pretty bad fisherman) so what do you think about the logistics of it all?

cheers
josh
ill be adding this to the first post

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"imagine all the people sharing all the world"

Look to it as a Uni degree. A degree in life, after all experience is the best teacher.

WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

about $24.65 a day

I reckon that's not much money; food, fuel, duties, spares, servicing etc etc; I'd double that - perhaps plan a shorter trip?

S

I've got a childhood sweetheart who I got back together with 4 years ago. Last year I went from UK 2 Capetown and only gave her 6months notice. She was not impressed but was here when I got back.

I loved that trip so this time I'm off on a RTW and I've given her 13month's notice. She seems happier but has told me to bring a big diamond back with me. Not unreasonable I think

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Find out details of my 2011 trip to Siberia on a lightweight dirtbike:
www.brighton2expeditions.co.uk

Hi Dusty

I'd be looking to work my way round, probably in the catering/bar industry, which will give you work at the lower end of the pay scale, but at least you usually get a roof over your head and free grub. Or seasonal farm work, picking fruit, labouring. Just what comes along. You'll also get to know the area and live as one of the locals and make plenty of friends while your doing it.

It's just great and in my time I've dishwashed in Munich, twice, worked for 2 weeks on a building site in Innsbruk, Austria, been a doorman and bar tender in British pubs in USA, worked on the bumper cars on Santa Monica Pier and drove a cab in LA for over a year.

All good University of Life stuff and as it's part of your journey, you never feel embarrassed when people look down on you, as you can give them a wry smile, as you know better.

Have fun.

Chris

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[/SIZE] "Live dangerously for as long as you can!"

I had a similar experience. Not unreasonable at all- if you plan on marrying her anyway. Me, I dropped off the diamond before I left- 20 months RTW. It's not like we never saw each other. I crossed all the tough stuff myself and she flew into each paradise spot for conjugal visits

Got home, got married and lived happily ever after. Sweet!

i really dont mind any job that i may get while on the trip, every job offers new opportunities, new people.
20 months RTW, amazing what was your favorite part
cheers
josh

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"imagine all the people sharing all the world"

9000 Dollars for me would seem perfectly possible if you concentrate on the less expensive regions. We did Ecuador to TDF and back to BsAs in 2005/2006 and spent 10000 Dollars in total in 9 months for two persons, 2 bikes.

Obviously we limited ourselves to the cheaper way in chile, but in Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia and Argentina we had a really good time living with that budget. Did much rough camping though, but not for the money but for the experience of it....

Have a go!

Martin

the only real part i worry about with only 9K is if i run into any large repairs, but i guess thats why ill be carrying a credit card just in case
cheers
josh

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"imagine all the people sharing all the world"

I had a sort of similar situation to you last year. Not a RTW trip but a complete life change. I'll explain...

I'm 32 and prior to September '08, I was in a secure and very well paid job with potential for promotion. However, I was never happy in it and hitting 30 made me realise that life is too short, youth is wasted on the young and several other similar cliches.

Around about this time last year, I was talking to a colleague in his early 60's and it hit me like a train that I also would stuck there till the day I retired. For me, that's very likely to be the year 2046 or 70 years old as people are living longer and the UK's state pension pot is rapidly running out.

I'd worked on various projects with friends still in the industry who encouraged me to return to engineering. So in September, I quit my job to go back to college, update my automotive and mechanical engineering skills and the plan is to start my own business within the next 2-3 years. Exactly what that business idea is, I'm keeping to myself to the minute but it is motorcycle-related and will be of interest to many HU members.

I'm currently doing a mix of bar work and driving to pay the bills at present but I don't regret it for a minute. Yeah, money is tight as present but I can honestly say that it was one of the best decisions I've ever made and based on what you've said already, I think you should run with what you really feel you want to do.

Hi Josh,

Here is my input. About 20 years ago (5 years after a 6 month trip my wife and I took to Alaska) I wanted to do another; not to Alaska as we still lived there, but a trip for 8 -12 months. My wife and I decided it was not the best time, kids and all, so I reluctantly put my trip on hold. I still traveled the world, mostly for work, and as a family we took several trips to places like Central America, Europe, UK, etc. During this time I always thought about the trip that was on hold. Several times we discussed the best time to embark on such a trip, but it was never the right time. Now, at 53 I’m taking off on a trip to South America at the end of the year. My wife thinks it’s not the best time but I’ve waited long enough. I’m hoping she will come with me or at a minimum meet me at various places and spend several weeks traveling; we are still working out those details. I really hope she will join me as I will enjoy the trip more when sharing it with someone I love.

My point here is that for some, there may never be a right time to quit a job and an acceptable life style just to head out to some distant location. For others, it opens a door to new opportunities. When my wife and I went to Alaska, we had really planned on going to Boston via Alaska; we just never made it past Alaska. Looking back, I wish I had taking that trip we kept postponing as it seems there’s always something that can stop you from leaving on such a long term trip; there’s just never a right time.

I remember reading an article years ago about why teenagers seem so adaptable to going after their dreams versus adults. The article described how younger people just go for it, working out the problems along the way. Adult, on the other hand, try to work out all the problems before starting, thus never starting.

Is this the right time for you? Who knows, but if I were you I’d go. You’re prepared, have the funding, bike, etc. its time.

Hope to see you down the road
-Jeff
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Moto-Treks

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Moto Treks

thank you again guys for all your insight. i have some news and will be editing my original post. I HAVE DECIDED TO GO!! AFTER YEARS OF DREAMING AND MONTHS OF CONSIDERING I FEEL THIS IS WHATS BEST FOR ME THE PLAN IS TO LEAVE MAY 2010!!!!
this is the right time for me as much as it ever could be time will never be perfect just as much as anything else can never be perfect. i welcome you suggestions and help as you are willing to give. thank you all again
cheers
josh

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"imagine all the people sharing all the world"