Just came accross this old thread and couldnt resist this... ooops sorry if its a bit
but hey ho...
How to shower like a woman:-
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to whites and coloured.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and make mental note to do more sit-ups.
Get in shower. Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash hair again to make sure it is clean.
Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginge rnut and jaffa cake body wash.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Tilex.
Get out off shower.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover any exposed areas.
How to shower like a man:-
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in pile on floor.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake manhood at her making woo-hoo sound.
Look at manly physique in the mirror and scratch your arse.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Shampoo hair. Make shampoo mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry-off and fail to notice water on floor.
Admire physique in mirror again.
Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, leave light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife on way, pull off towel, shake manhood at her and make woo-hoo noise again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
How to shower like an ADV rider
Get off bike near river, lake, pond or sea and jump in. Have a scrub with anything available. (removal of cloths optional).
Get out, dry off a bit and ride onto next destination.
If in desert… get off bike … remove wet wipes from luggage and scrub scummy areas. Remove fluffy remains of wet wipe from stubble then ride onto next destination