I've been pondering this for some time, and it seems that there is a common thread.

I can only speak for myself, and my story is that I'm 42, married for 6 years to a great lass, have a 5 yr old girl and one on the way in 2.5 months time.

I've always wanted to travel, but my wife is completely disinterested in biking generally and does not understand my desire to tune and rebuild bikes in the garage. At all.

In 4 weeks I'm going off with my brother for 2.5 weeks on a UK road trip from Denmark (GPz 550 tour I wrote about on this HUBB), me on my bike, and my brother on the one I rebuilt for him.

My wife is taking it a bit personally, and cannot understand why I would want to be away from them for this time, and does not understand that it's not about getting away from them, but rather the trip itself. She has, however, accepted this and said "I think you should go". I wasn't awaiting approval, but it came nevertheless. Bonus.

I will miss them, but it will be ok! We'll stay in touch every day and I'll try to make it fun for my little girl too, but I know that if I don't go ahead, I'll regret this and I'm not prepared to do this.

There will be other compensations I will make for my wife in time, such as going to OZ for 3-6 months to baby sit the new arrival and care for our daughter whilst she continues with PhD research at a hospital in Sydney, so it's swings and roundabouts. There has to be some give and take if your partner is not interested in your business.

I say, do what you need to in this life, as it's too short to pass by with regrets, but think of ways in which you can accommodate the other at the same time as their desires are also to be met.

It's hard though to convince the other half of those inner desires that perhaps were not written on the sleeve of your jacket when you were walking down the aisle all those years ago.... my wife had no idea THEN that I was so into mechanics in general, as when I met her I was living in a bedsit in the UK and had no access to a garage, but had lived on the wild side in South Africa in the biking scene for some years, and that never dies.

Now there's no room in the garage for her car with all the bikes in the way... oops.

Every family is different. Every woman is different. It's about communication and finding the balance. (Sometimes in between my own selfishness)

In my case, 2 weeks for a trip was the pain threshhold, so I stretched it to 18 days. I cannot get more or the elastic will snap. If I took a month there would be serious problems, which would describe what some folks here have gone through, and I'd prefer to keep my family in one piece because at the end of the day, If I had to choose between my family and my biking, I'd sell the bikes and live with that lesser regret, as my family come first.

I just like pushing the boundaries I guess, but at the same time, life is for living. This balance is an interesting debate.
It's about prioritizing passions.

Hot dang that's a good post Farrawayman. Could not have put it better myself.

Do everything you can to make your family happy but don't forget yourself as well!

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That concrete whizzing by five inches below your foot is the real thing...

I don't think 2.5 weeks is a lot to ask from somebody you're prepared to spend the rest of your life with.

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More malformed, irrelevant opinions here.

What if your spouse simply wants to stay home, with you and be a family or maybe go on holiday all together? You're projecting.

@Wildman no thats is not what I am saying, All I say is family comes first (at all costs) also I was referring to extended trips, I think trips like Farawayman is actually very healthy & it is good to have short holidays apart as long as it is balanced.

Paul

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....rather Die Living.....than Live Dying !
www.globetrekkers.net.au

Untill they became totally independent our girls came first. since we retired we have travelled, 4 long trips in our Defender to Southern Africa. you can never replace family life.

I think that more than 2.5 weeks would be too much for my wife and little girl to handle, and I think I'd miss them too much to be away for much longer.

I would like to do longer trips, but I think I will leave this until a later stage, when there is not so much need for me to be around - then perhaps my wife can get her license and join me

I know that family is far more important than a collection of nuts and bolts assembled in the garage, and one day lying on my deathbed, I'll not be wishing for the nearness of a motorcycle, I'll be wanting my good lady at my side, and the smile of my daughter to carry me through.

Everything in perspective - but one should not forget to grab the moments of passion that this life has to offer, and if a bike trip is it, then work it all into the mosaic of your life.

A good friend once told me "I'm not interested in the what ifs, should haves, could haves , would haves - that is a waste of my time"

He's the kind of guy who just lives it.

His father recently said to me, mate, I've done it all, If I die right now, there are no regrets - my life is now on extra time.

A wonderful thing to hear from someone who grabs the moment and lives it as it happens.

Don't let the desire for a trip fizzle out because you think it's not possible. Create some balance and work for it.

Also those times away together, travelling as a family can build very important bonds between you. There are too many distractions in this world and families too easily become isolated from each other. Travelling forces you together away from everyday distractions and gives you the chance to just be together.

For those of us who started families late (in my 40s) waiting until the kids fly the coop isn't really an option. There's a 30% chance of not even living that long, let alone being able to enjoy travelling.

Also, the world is changing fast. Countries are quickly losing their individual identities and becoming just another place for a MacDonalds and a Tesco so I feel a strong urge to travel while there is something still to see of a different culture that I can't get in my local indian takeaway!

In about a month and a half I leave for 33 days riding up to the Arctic and back, leaving my wife and three boys behind. Midway thru the trip, I will be at the MOA Rally in Salem, Oregon. My wife is flying out to spend four days with me there. She flys back home and I continue with my trip as I work my way back home.

I consider myself very fortunate to have a spouse that understands my need to travel. She has learned to ride and will be joining me on some trips during the next few years. So I am very lucky to have such a wonderful women.

Now that being said, I want to travel, go lots of places, but I want a base to come back to. I want to share as many experiences with my wife as possible. And I consider my family number one priority.

I watched everyone of my friends get married young, many getting a good job and start a family. But many of them have ended in divorce. And most all of them are unhappy.

You spend the first 20 years doing what your parents want to do. Then if you get married, you spend the next 20 - 30 years doing what your family needs/wants you to do. When do you get to do just what you want?

I spent my 20's and 30's doing whatever I wanted to do. I got married the year I turned 40. I did this so I could enjoy a little time for myself. And not affect anyone else. Now that I am married, when I get those feelings that I need to be back on the road, I remind myself that I already had 20 years of that. Now I must consider my family. I had my time already.

So no long long trips for me. Just 30 days or so. But here is the thing. I just had a long talk with a "world traveler". Many of you may know him so I will not say anymore regarding his identity. But he is a bit sad. He chose to spend his life traveling and really has no family now that he is older. No wife, no kids, no one to share his adventures. Did he make the right decision.

Here is what I want you all to tell me. Especially if you are one of those travelers who is out on the road all the time. What will you do when you get old? I mean, too old to travel. What happens when your health goes bad. Who do you turn to to help you, or take care of you? This is the part I don't get.

So for me, I think we should all enjoy traveling as much as we can. But keep that family base. That home base. I think we will all need that some day. And at least for me, I need to to travel. But I need my wife and kids too. I'm nothing without them.

Yeah, I can see that aspect to it. I haven't done much long term travelling lately, mostly due to starting a business/lack of money. When I can, I will travel, the thought of it is sometimes the only thing that drives me on. I kind of accept the fact that I will have no kids, and possibly no wife when I grow old, but then that could happen anyway, if you spent your whole career working 9 till 5.
I kind of think that I will find somewhere as I approach retirement, where life is easier for someone infirm. Somewhere warm, where your not spending most your pension on keeping warm in winter.

There is no question for me, I would go absolutely stark stareing crazy if I had a wife and kids. It would be totally irresponsible of me to put myself in that position. I don't see myself changing any time soon.
I'll just take the risk that I can look after myself in old age.

Moggy is absolutely right, undistracted time together is vital. Good thing about travelling is often we don't have all the mobiles and internet at our fingers we have to find it for short periods.

Dan

There's an old saying from ancient times that you only really get to know someone for real when you travel with them.

Just be careful you don't find that your family members aren't who you thought they were

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That concrete whizzing by five inches below your foot is the real thing...