I'm 38 yrs old, married with kids (3 and 5 yrs), have two dogs, a mortgage, and a career. My calling is both with my family and the road, and I am torn down the middle.

I feel I can't leave them behind, neither often, nor for any lengths of time. This is not only for their sake, but also for my own sake - I kinda enjoy their company. Further, I feel as though I need to maintain my career to help provide my family with their current home, their current lifestyle, and hopefully a prosperous future. I don't have much flexibility in my career to take more time off than allocated vacation time.

At the present I am only looking into quick and fast satellite trips, over a week or four, that I can do with a few year intervals (this year I rode from Malaga to Bissau in a three week rally, and next year I plan a week long trip to Iceland). This is not the satisfaction I am looking for - I need much more. I day dream about the day when my mortgage is mostly down paid, my kids are too old to enjoy vacationing with their dad, and the dogs are dead... but then I am an old miserable fart that regret not having enjoyed my best years enough.

If you are, or have been, in a similar position - how do you, or did you, deal with this predicament?

I once seriously contemplated convincing my wife that we take two bikes and ride off for a year with our kids, maybe with a side car. Now I am not so keen, this as I see how important home is for my kids, because of the risks involved, because it would be a mammoth task to convince my wife of the idea, and because off all of the other necessary sacrifices. Anyways, I am not so sure my kids and wife would enjoy it as much - a recipe for disaster.

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Hi, I know this doesn't address your question but I believe strongly that travel is only beneficial to young children. If you have the choice to go for a real journey I'd advise you to take it.
Of course both adults must agree. At such young ages the quality of the learning and feeling of the experiences will be massive.
I remember such travel at that age and look back with a wish that I could again feel the awe and amazement that I did then. How? Sorry I don't know. Lindsay.

Wheelie,

I am totally feeling for you. Not much you can do at the moment IMO. You made the decison to be a father and husband and now you have to stick to your guns.

What Linzi said makes sense but if your wife ain´t happy with that it won´t happen. It is that simple. IMO every marriage is also an unspoken contract on how to live you life as a couple and family. Sounds like your wife did not sign up to be a longterm traveller or living like a pioneer woman. Mine did that neither. Damn, we never even gotten a camping trailer in all those years.

You have made a commitment and have chosen a certain lifestyle. You seem to get a maximum of travel activities out of it. I say you are doing well at this point.

Give your kids safe conditions to grow up in and plan ahead for the next 15 years. They will pass faster than you can imagine. Get out of debt and talk with your wife how you want to live in the future, a lot. Maybe she´ll stay with you ...

If I could do it again I probably would chose a military career enjoy retirement at 50 (which I am now), even though the Bundeswehr has been a dull place for me. I am quite a bit in debt with my business (not my fault, besides supporting my elderly parents financially for well over a decade). My plan is to get out of debt and retire at 60.

DW and I don´t need much money and we can live a simple life easily because this is what we have been doing all the time since we got our three children. We are going to downsize, one small economical car, one bike/scooter, two E-bikes. We want to have part time jobs as long as we don´t make ourselves ridiculous, both for some side money and making the brains and body work.

Not to p*ss on your parade but I know plenty of folks with a decent amount of money on the bank and/or a good retirement. Few of them are happy. Most of them suffer from an overinflated self-esteem.

Happiness comes from doing and living live at it´s fullest - not from owning. My Grandma was quite a poor person by all standards. She was one happy woman, though.

Whatever you do, good luck and happy trails!

Don't wish your life away - many men would give their right arms to have what you do.

Work hard, enjoy your career and family and then if you can, retire a little early and hit the road.

You are not the only one in that position, I too, have a wife, kids, dog, property & a business and are a little older. While my kids are a little older and my wife is supportive, I have been over a long period of time been restructuring my business that allows me to take small snippets of time to travel on my bike, with one day the dream of taking the epic journey I read about so often. If you really want it to happen, you can make it happen with the right timing, careful planning and keeping your commitments to your loved ones. Don't stop dreaming, keep planning while remembering you are so fortunate to have now what so many wish they could have.

Hi

You can travel with kids
http://www.horizonsunlimited.com/hub...s-family-65119

Toby

I have a similar issue. I traveled by motorcycle back in the '70's when I was single, only in the US. I quite to go to college in 1989 and never traveled again until 2009. I got married in 1997, at 40 years old. I have three boys. Here is what I'm doing.

Up to this point, I have taken small trips, most not exceeding a week. As my kids have gotten older, and wife has gotten more adjusted to my being gone, I have begun to lengthen the trips. My next trip, in June 2012, is to the Arctic, which will be 30 day trip.

As far as work goes, I will "take it with me". Most of the time I will not have to deal with work. But I will have to things like monthly billings to customers. So that will be handled using phone and laptop, emailing pdf copies of billing back to the secretary so she can process them.

Family has gradually gotten behind my travels and my wife is now even planning to begin traveling with me in about 3-5 years. She is currently looking at our first tour outside the US - a two-week ride around Ireland.

I'm planning to begin taking one 30 day trip per year for now. Some may become longer once I retire completely. But for now, this is all I can do. I only have two weeks paid vacation per year. So two seeks will be without pay.

I really enjoy reading the ride reports of those who travel for months at a time. But I have a family, and other obligations that I choose to not give up. And I want a home base to come back to. So I will never be one of those sell everything and hit the road kind of guys.

My wife will tell you that once I gave up the "wall street" life and began riding motorcycles and doing woodworking, my personality changed for the better. I'm much more happy and laid back. Just like I was back in the 70's and 80's when I rode motorcycles. We met in 1995 and she did not know the extent of my motorcycle traveling in prior years until later.

So here is my advice to you. Take it slow. But do ride. Take small trips. Day trips. Do things like this. Find a road near home. Take it. Ride on it til it comes to an end. As your family gets older, try to get your wife interested in bikes. Go to rallys. Take her. Find a babysiiter for the kids. Join a local motorcycle club if one is nearby.

Take your time, gradually build into it. Once you get closer to retirement age, the time will begin to open up and you will be able to take bigger trips. But enjoy your family. Those kids grow up freaky fast. Consider yourself as one of the lucky guys who has both: a great family and the ability to ride motorcycles. I know I do.

32year old with a serious relationship the last 5 years.

I have done big expeditions and I want more, like 1 or 3 years. Just the idea to be on the road, anywhere in the world with my bike, it's electrify me. Butt the last year the idea do have in my arms a little human every night back home, electrify me too. Don't putt problem in your self. You have a lovely family and a passion, like a lot of us... After all, you have too tell at someone the travel stories when you are gonna be a old man. Your grandchildren for example.. Live the moment.. Its better to eat one pizza or to taste more differences kind of slices??

I have a wife and two kids, and since they "arrived" I have managed to both take care of my family and being able to take loose and do whats important to me.

I guess its challange, but my wife knew who I was, and has never tried to stop me for being who I am.

I have managed to cross the Sahara with a motorcycle (07), partisipate in Budapest - Bamako in 2010, and next summer I will be going away to drive around the Caspian sea.

I guess open communication is the key word. I wish you all the best luck in following your dreams, with or without a family.

Haakon

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Personally I procured a sailboat to take an adventure of a lifetime and .thirty years later I have no re regrets of allowing my my beautiful wife raise the children whilst i,was away as I returned at times or had my daughter join me when possible.
I provided a wonderful loving and educational experience for my family that brings us closer everyday. Understandably this was not entirely on motorcycle as as the boat as a base and would venture out on one of my old bikes.
For anyone reading saying gee that's easy with money I started out with about $2500 U.S. dollars. (I worked in a very wide variety of jobs to 'keep afloat' commercial fishing, search and rescue ,farming.....)
These choices are personal and would I not give,up the adventure for more,financial security which the kids,run up,250000 college bill and kids,then marry and,you obligate yourself and the nice invite to holiday supper to discuss bills for your children's new family which you now you,are obligated.
The wife wants a nest you want want to spread your wings, be a man do what you feel best.


Ps I am headed to pick up my bike after a wonderful time with my three wonderful grand children. Life is Good
He who hesitates is lost.
All the best
Hope to see you)

i like the fact that people are suggesting to bring your family, but i have to wonder how practical it would be to travel by motorcycle with two small children - especially since we dont know whether your wife also rides. It would be amazing to turn it into a family vacation but i also feel like that would lack the sense of freedom you yearn for with these trips.

Your family is absolutely your reponsibility and your kiddos are a bit young to leave for an extended period of time. But once they're older and can do more for themselves, the burden will be less for your wife if you were to jet for a few weeks. Not to mention, part of a healthy relationship is making sure you're both satisfied emotionally. Consider trading vacations so you can both take some time away! Motorcycle Trip for Spa Retreat?
Good luck.

A nice family traveling with kids: Sixenroute, Un tour du monde en famille en camping-car - Accueil

Hear hear!!


Anyone can run away from their responsibilities in a cloud of self-indulgence, but it takes commitment and balls to raise a family and pay the bills. You'll have plenty of scope for adventure later on, and what's more you'll be wise enough to appreciate it in a completely different way.

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More malformed, irrelevant opinions here.

Exactly my thoughts. Nothing wrong to put the kids and missus on a sidecar bike and take off for two to four weeks, but until the kids are grown up, count your blessings and don´t be miserable about being unable to go on an expedition. I´ll be 55 by the time the kids are out of school, and then I´ll take a year off (I´m an attorney in the chemicals industry and will offer to work online two days a week for that year from somewhere in the world, e.g. from any of our subsidiaries; but if that offer meets deaf ears I´ll just take a year´s leave) and will hit the road together with my wife and any kids who want to join us. You won´t be older than that if your kids are grown up and 55 is far from being an old fart if you don´t let yourself go totally.
Cheers
Chris
(with a missus, a career, a mortgage and two kids 13 and 15 who have done their first 10.000km as pillion each throughout Europe).

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Nail, head...

I too have always had a wunderlust, which is how I ended up here , which is how I ended up with wife, house kids etc etc .
the wife & kids scenario isnt the end of travelling... it's part of the voyage, it simply means that the pace of the voyage or the overall timescale has slowed down. It may have appeared to have slowed to geolocical proportions but you have to re adjust to that.

I have spent the last few years almost not using the bike due to kids & stuff, now the eldest is big enough to ride pillion it's starting again, the mrs has lost interest in biking but N°1 daughter is starting, so I will adapt, shorter trips to start with, stuff that will interest a 10yr old, communication system, etc etc...

None of this has stopped me from planning the big trip though, & whenever work or family ties start getting me down, I dig the plans out & go over it again, or plan some more , or plan another trip...

It will happen, but as life throws sh!t at you you have to dodge & weave, the weaving makes the road longer, that's all.

Bonne courage

MooN