I'd like to hear the Ladies thoughts on this

[Candubrain]

I already know the types of responses I would get from the guys, I'd like to hear what the ladies of this group think......

I am considering a 3 week motorcycle ride with a buddy which means my wife of 42 yrs will be left alone at home for that time.

She will only do short afternoon rides, there is no possibility of her joining me. I have offered to fly her and my buddies wife to the mid way point and spend a few days with her and fly her home.....she has nixed that idea.

This is not my first trip without her, but all the other times one of our children were at home. Both of our children live out of the country, we have no siblings left alive, our parents are gone, we have good friends, but my wife prefers her solitude....let's just say she is more of an introvert than extrovert.

She has given me her blessing to go, but I can sense she is not thrilled about the idea. I am also feeling reluctant to leave her alone....I guess guilty is the word. Usually when I go away something breaks in the house, or issues that you cannot predict......Sh1t Happens as they say.

I'm 66yrs old and think this will be my last big multi week motorcycle trip. I want to go, but don't want to go.

Thoughts?
thanks
brian

[poldark]

Is there no one who might come and "visit" to give her some company for the duration?

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[Candubrain]

Originally Posted by poldark

Is there no one who might come and "visit" to give her some company for the duration?

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She prefers her solitude, good suggestion though. I'm guessing she is comfortable having me home, but not having others other than immediate family stay

[JMo (& piglet)]

What exactly do you feel the issue is?

You say she is happy in her own company, and that this is not the first time you've been on a trip without her - so when you say you sense she is 'not thrilled' - do you think she is anxious about being alone and something might happen to the house/her, or anxious that something might happen to you?

Either way, if she is not interested in joining you for part of the trip as you've suggested, is there perhaps somewhere she would like to go/someone she would visit which could take up a good chunk of the time you're apart - that way you've both got something interesting to occupy you and help avoid worrying about each other?

fwiw. if you're both in your sixties and you've made it through life this far unscathed, then odds are you'll be just fine this time around too.

Jx

[travel4four]

I don't think there is any one answer - you know her best! I know that I, myself, love it when my husband travels for a few weeks and I have the place to myself - and, likewise, he loves it when I travel and he's alone for a week or two. But - that's just our way of recharging and then reconnecting. (Oh, and we live abroad, away from kids and family, so a similar geographic situation to yours.)

[Turbofurball]

If it were me, I'd be out on my own bike (probably in a different direction, travelling with more than one man sounds unappealing). The flipside is that when I'm "stuck" at home on my own I love it since I can get on with all sorts of projects easier when I can organise my own time, last time I demolished a wall for example.

However, not all women are the same and it's possible your wife feels conflicted in a similar way to you, in that she doesn't want to be alone for *that much* time but also doesn't want to hold you back from doing something you enjoy. If she has any friends with whom she can visit, or even just chat online to, then her solitude is optional.

It sounds like you both need to work on your communication skills, for me and my other half we usually have good talks when we're out for a walk (and we both constantly try to work on our communication) but I've previously had a lot of success with a bit of couples therapy ... sometimes only a little is needed to help people open up a bit, and then things can get sorted out.