I own a gun = I have a small penis and need a way to compensate !


Just my 2 inches on the whole thing.

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Did some trips.
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Can't say anymore.

Elisa and I were bush camping in Las Pampas near Santa Isabel, Argentina.

That night we intended to observe and video the "Luz mala" thus far unexplained strange lights that appear there regularly in the night sky.

We were isolated well off the road after riding a soft sand tract for 2 K It was afternoon, our tent was pitched and our bikes nearby with saddlebags locked, tank bags, and most gear zipped in the tent and all was well.

From further down the sand track, I heard the sound of motorcycles as they struggled with the sand. Ut OH...

One look at the band approaching and I knew we might be in trouble, there were five bikes and 5 guys. This was not your friendly local motorcycle club, or a Harley Owners Group, but some very hard core looking Argentines.

I told Elisa to get her bike keys in hand, ride like hell and call for help, if I take these guys on. I carry a Bowie knife when touring.
Bowie knife - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Just as imagined they roared into our camp and I could tell immediately they were drunk, 2 dismounted, and asked what we were dong? The others still on their bikes began drinking again from big bottles

The leader, biggest guy, walked directly to my bike and started trying to unsip a locked saddlebag. I shouted in spanish, " wait a minute I want to show you something."

I ducked into the tent and came out with my "boludometro" everyone in Argentina knows who a "boludo" is... a boludo is someone who is dumber than dirt, sand in this case.... and does stupid things, calling someone a "boludo" is fun among Argentine friends, but an insult to strangers.

I told the leader that we were here to test my "boludometro" ,an invention of mine with the help of a British electronics expert. I intend to manufacture and market "boludometros" that consist of a gauge with a needle and the numbers 1 to 5, a dial hidden underneath and a buzzer. The operator secretly moves the needle by turning the dial and that determines the quantity of "boludo" a person has. When that is determined the operator pushes the button also underneath to sound the buzzer. A couple of years ago I demonstrated my "boludometro" at the HUBB meeting at Viedma, Argentina.

I went on to explain that there are so many "boludos" in Buenos Aires that my "boludometro" keeps breaking so we came here to test it. This brought laughter from the group, so much so that one guy dropped his bike.

Soon I was asking if I anyone would volunteer for a "boludometro" check. everyone was saying check him , check him he is a "boludo." I checked the guy and confirmed to the group that yes, indeed the guy was a "boludo." these guys were cracking up with laughter and began yelling check me, check me. I checked everyone and then I walked over to the leader, still trying to figure out why he couldn't open my saddlebag, I asked "Can I check you" he glared at me and said "You think I am a Boludo? No, No, of course not I said, I am just checking my "boludometro." I quickly sounded the buzzer and verified to the group no he is not a Boludo, that established, he smiled.

Elisa was taking this all in, centered herself in front of the gang... and told the them in no uncertain terms that I had to go find some fire wood because she was going to cook dinner. After all the laughter and Elisa's commanding style, the boys mounted up, a few pitched their empty bottles into the bush. and rode off toward the road.

Hope this helps and you might find cultural centric "artifacts" from the Sahara or where ever you ride, that might provide common ground between you and those who mean to do you harm. I have noted several good suggestions on this thread already. Perhaps a copy of the Koran at hand might work.

Eat, Drink and Be Careful xfiltrate

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Pepper spray would be something I'd carry if I thought I was at risk of being attacked by animals when camping. I'm thinking remote Canada / Russia.

If you're taking this huge torch, you'll only have it to hand at night anyway. So instead of braining someone with it up close, blind them with the beam further away. You can also do that with your considerably smaller, lighter, and genuinely useful LED headtorch. So leave the 5Kg torch at home.

My bike has a 32mm rear axle, which is why I carry one of these:


Even if you don't have a stupidly huge rear axle, I would recommend anyone with aluminium panniers to carry such an object for when 'pannier realignment' is in order after a crash. I would think it's a pretty strong visual deterrent too.

edit: to spell it out don't take special 'weapons' with you, just use what you carry if you think you need to - which unless it's all gone very wrong, you won't.

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KTM, I know what you mean about the rear wheel thingy. When I got my Enfield I had to buy a 24mm flat ring spanner to get the wheel off to fit a new tyre. It was only later when I had to adjust the chain I discovered I also needed a 30mm ring spanner for the other end The weight of my toolkit has more than doubled since the changeover to Enfield from BMW. Every fastener seems to be a different size. Not only that but they also use the 'unusual sizes' of metric such as 14 and 18mm which means most metric spanner sets are missing the sizes needed.

A long time ago I did some training with people who ought to know about shooting people, hitting them on the head and so forth. One of the big points they stressed time and time again (when they weren't on about shiney boots) was that if you decided to shoot or stab someone you should be as certain as possible that they wouldn't get up and try to kill you shortly afterwards. All the suggestions about whacking people with Maglites and adjustable spanners seem to forget the possible outcomes that involve matey getting hacked off that you bruised his arm and cutting your head off, or the paperwork and first hand experience of Midnight Express type conditions if the *** turns out to have a thin skull.

I'd go for the camp out of sight, see who's about, give them what they want, run away options and would only even think about the bear spray in places where there are bears.

Andy

I hope any inexperienced overlanders are not put off travelling to Morocco after reading the posts in this thread in the same way some thought we needed big GS BMW's, back-up 4x4's, jungle and anti kidnap training not so long back. It just comes down to 'trusting your instincts' here as in any other place you go, and this applies to home as much as abroad.
I would not fancy walking day or night through Deptford/New Cross/Bermondsey(Millwall areas) in a Crystal Palace shirt!

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'He who laughs last, was too slow to get the joke'
Never confuse the map with the journey.

Dave Ede is quite right - the thuggish pond life which haunts Saaf London is much more dangerous than Morocco, which has a far lower crime rate.

Now I'm really worried. My son's at uni in New Cross. Should I send him the torch or the spanner?

No, just drugs and more ..........

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'He who laughs last, was too slow to get the joke'
Never confuse the map with the journey.

Well I live in Deptford if he needs to borrow a 32mm wrench

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http://bigben.to/ London to....? The big bike annual rally.
http://www.mongolbikers.com 125cc London -> Mongolia.

Hi Dave
I'm currently in Morocco. Please send drugs and . The cheep bottle of Morrisons Irish Whiskey I bought in Gibraltar tastes like nun's p*ss. Being a chicken, I'm in a hotel tonight, so yet again, no chance of pretending to do Rambo impressions.

(Speaking as a bike traveller, not a Mod) to all those pretend "hard cases" buying up army surplus spanners/ maglites/ pepper spray etc., before you think about using them on the local population, consider that the locals might outnumber you and are quite likely to reciprocate your affection.

I'm with the common sense brigade. If you have to wild camp, size up the environment and engage your brain.

Tomorrow i'm selling my clapped out Transalp and will buy a "random other brand"/camera crew/survival training before riding another mile. It's dangerous out there.
Chris
PS. Also send a couple of spare ring antenna...

PPS. Merry Christmas from Marrakesh

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Exactly, is what I was trying to say in my original post.
As an aside, two members of a Cornish WI were killed a couple days ago returning from a visit to see Xmas lights. Shit happens, and deploying weapons is more likely to make any situation worse. If you can defuse a situation to create a better atmosphere that is the best solution as posted previously. To do that however you will need language skills somewhat in excess of mine, although I can get by in French.

No thread on this site is complete without a little gratuitous bmw bashing, so I'm glad we've checked that box.

It's not Christmas for me unless I hear some GS bashing.....




Just for the record, i'm not encouraging people to carry buy big maglites and start bashing up people.

Like said, 99.9999% of "dodgy looking" people will be the friendliest, helpful people you will ever meet on the road. (Dont you just love made up statistics)

It's just a uselful bit of camp kit that can be picked up to show you can defend yourself if nesessary. Hardly the same league as a Rambo knife with blood grooves and grenades in the handle lol.

Not talking specifially about Morrocco, just anywhere in the world where you could be victimised or mugged.

This is very grey area with a bazillion variables so there's never going to be right or wrong answer.

I'm much more likely to give a wink and a smile to someone approaching me than a smash in the kidney with a maglite and I think that's true of even the hard faced axe wielding paranoid traveller on this forum.

HO HO HO !!

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Did some trips.
Rode some bikes.
Fix them for a living.
Can't say anymore.

Hello Motoreiter
My comment wasn't meant to insult that hallowed Bavarian brand that so many dedicated affecianados swear by.

I'm sure you recall there were a couple of chaps (one actor and his mate/son of a famous director: they were on the TV once or twice recently ) who used this brand and in some peoples opinion went OTT with respect to their preparation and backup. Their prep included anti-terror/kidnap training. Hence my tongue in cheek comment in reference to defending oneself with solid objects/compressed gas.

I wholeheartedly, out the bottom of my ring-antenna, apologise for casting any doubt on the utter wonderfullness of that superior German marque. If you were to ever reread my above post, please substitute "GS" with "random other brand".

So, wo ist jetzt mein Werkzeug?
So Sorry Chris

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