I have a similar urge to travel and have done many shorter (1-2 month) trips in the past. I'm now seriously looking at doing an extended bike ride (6-7 months) -- a life long dream. My wife says go (she's great), I'm getting older so my window of opp. is closing. I'm in desperate need of a career change and have a few bucks saved up. The stopper will however likely be my nine year old boy who I don't think I could bare to leave for that amount of time. I'm lucky to have such a great family.

Should I assume you are a family man then?

I'd love to ask my children (if ever have them): do you prefer truck or yacht? You may try with your 9y/o: 4x4 or Ural sidecar and take the whole family on great loooong 3 month summer holidays (amazingly, could encompass being adventurer and family man!)

I can understand, my last boyfriend was very anti bikes. Escaped that one!

I now have the opposite problem, no one to go travelling with, although I do like travelling alone, and find that I meet more people, and have to up my spidey sense of anything untoward, but I get a better sense of achievement by doing things myself.

Some chaps i've met have been surprised/put off that I want to up sticks and bugger off for a year.

If you don't go or make a significant compromise, are you always going to be asking what if?

Dunno, I grew up with a father who put bikes (rebuilding questionable classics) above all else, at the expense of a harmonious home life and more pennies towards replacing fridges, and family holidays.

So we are back to the general consensus of 'its difficult'.

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https://fernsforays.wordpress.com/

Well.. What a turn of events...

We ended up breaking up. She wanted the 9-5, morgage , week in Majorca and I don't.. It came to a head and a separation was the only solution we could both come to.

Was never going to work was it.... Alas !

So, I'm going to India in January for a month for some winter sun. Coming home and working until June then heading to Canada on a Yukon Canoe trip. After that, who knows........

I do feel a South East Asia bike trip is on the cards

__________________
Did some trips.
Rode some bikes.
Fix them for a living.
Can't say anymore.

But leave the door open. Whatever happens, wish you both a nice and happy future, whether following each one his own path, or maybe together overlanding... (brainwashing takes great effort, loooong time and difficult compromise and it always remains and unfinished job )

But if it finally has to be... don't forget to bring the waterproof camera to the Yukon and post pics in the HU Bar or wherever else!

Gentlemen! From a female (4 wheel!!!) traveller , thank you for sharing. Your posts make interesting reading, especially to get the male persective since us females are often the ones who "can't" leave the boyfriend behind. A few years ago, I left a boyfriend behind to go on a short trip, but he didn't really get what I was doing so when I came back, I reverted to the urban girlfriend role.

Mostly I find it hard to meet men who are interested in overlanding travel to out of the way places who are happy to be with a woman who can get there herself and who's trip isn't just about the kit. (In South Africa, overlanding is very much a male thing and many drag trailer loads of gear and lights with them.) This has its positives when preparing for a long trip as I don't need to consider anyone else, but I can understand how it would put a spanner in the planning and preparation.

That said, I prefer not to travel alone (driving a RHD on the wrong side of the road in Africa, you need a co-pilot), so often need to wait for someone to free themselves up to join me - not easy when the plan is for an extended trip of a year or so and when everyone is married and breeding. My good friend has agreed to travel with me up the west side of Africa next year, so we're setting of from Cape Town with my dog in my Land Rover and are heading to Timbuctu. It's harder for my friend who is leaving her 19-year-old son behind and there aren't funds to fly him over to meet us en route. It's tough for her.

So, I don't know what's worse: having a lover who can't indulge the traveller in you, or not having a lover when you're not indulging the traveller in you. Compromise should be a 4-letter word!

Ted, clearly from your posts you are not the settling down type. I was surprised to read in your opening post in this thread that you had a longterm girlfriend and especially someone who didn't share your passion or at least try to indulge them. Your life cycles are completely opposed - her approach is much more long term and stable whereas you are only ever looking a few months ahead to when you've saved enough dosh to set off again - from an outsiders viewpoint it's hard to see how it ever worked but I guess she was thinking you'd get it out of your system and settle down!

My wife and I have always travelled together. We spent a year travelling from the UK to Cape Town. She was extremely worried about doing the trip but has always had a 'face your fears' approach to life and it worked out fine. We've been bringing up our kids for a few years so no major travels but as they approach leaving home we trying to set up our lives so we can do a few extended trips again although canoeing down the Yukon isn't on the list.

Really interesting thread.

I've been married now for 16 years. My wife understands (sort of) my passion for bikes. I've rode and raced them for years. First time she saw me I was in a rather 'second hand' set of one piece leathers held together with duct tape.

We both have the travelling bug, but in different formats. I would quite happily ride for miles and miles, my wife hates road travel. Cars or bikes.
We have both discussed the idea's of travelling, I have a 15 yr old son to consider at the moment, who's just hitting the important years at school, so this has put any immediate plans on hold but allows me to build up experience for touring in the UK. Most probably with my lad on the back.

I know my wife would hate travelling for hours and hours on the back of a bike. It's just not her thing. She did learn to ride when we first met, but I don't see that as an option either as she hasn't rode for 16 years (since passing her test!)

The best compromise we can come up with for now, is she fly's out and I meet her at different destinations. I think this is probably our best bet for now, but hey I'm flexible and if a better solution turns up then I'd go with it. Main thing is doing what makes you both happy. Life ain't no dummy run, so I intend to make the most of it.


Rob

Dear Horizons Unlimited agony aunt

I have been planning my 4 month trip for some time now 2-3 years. I set off in August. OK I seem to be obsessed with it sometimes.

My wife of 10 years has been supportive of me all along but recently the whole tune changed. After a going away party (seeing someone off to Europe) me and several others talking purely about trips past and planned, she has gone all weird on me and now wants nothing to do with it. She is annoyed she has nothing to say when we meet others, whereas, I've been several places and intend going several places she knows nothing about. It excludes her from the conversation although I always try hard to get her involved.

I did want her to come on parts of it but she knows I prefer to ride alone mostly. I thought about the flying her into key places I'm visiting, we already have Paris and Bangkok on the list. she doesnt fare well with dodgy food and can spend a lot of time unwell with even minor food poisoning which ruled her out of India & Pakistan etc.

I was going to delay until next year but it was her who suggested I get on with it this year.

We have booked to come to Horizons meet in Brisbane this year, now she wants me to cancel flight.

I am now simply confused.

I know this trip would change us slightly, I did bring this up as I'm concerned about our family and want to keep a balance. But I didn't think it would change before I left!

Frustrated ...

Hi Ted
You know what they say, 'if it flies, floats or fux' its better to rent !!

__________________
'He who laughs last, was too slow to get the joke'
Never confuse the map with the journey.

I agree with Landygirl, this is a very interesting thread of a different perspective.

My last partner of 9 yrs wasn't into bikes (I've been riding since aged 19) and since our split, I've been determined that the next partner is into bikes and likes travel.
But most bikers I've met think I'm bonkers for travelling beyond the yorkshire boundary and regularly riding on my own or having solo holidays.

I want to ride a bike, at home and abroad
I want to go to weird places and discover different cultures
I want to push my comfort zone - life is for living
I enjoy being unconventional but most people strive to fit in with the norm - I guess that's why we're members of Horizon's Unlimited!

__________________
Elaine

Striving to live the ordinary life in a non ordinary way

[QUOTE=pheonix;379746]I agree with Landygirl, this is a very interesting thread of a different perspective.

My last partner of 9 yrs wasn't into bikes (I've been riding since aged 19) and since our split, I've been determined that the next partner is into bikes and likes travel.

I want to ride a bike, at home and abroad
I want to go to weird places and discover different cultures
QUOTE]


Tedz........Free !

Be gentle with him tho, and watch your purse, he's Scouse!

__________________
'He who laughs last, was too slow to get the joke'
Never confuse the map with the journey.

hahah you better watch more than your purse !!!


Well.... As always, things have changed.

I'm with a wonderful lass now who also has a love for the world when she can get away.

She owns her own business as a tattooist, loves bikes and travel earns very good dosh so has the financial freedom.....

She also lets me spread my wings on my own which is something I've never really found in a partner.

I'm off to Canada for two months in a few weeks and although she's upset about it, she totally understands me and what I need in life. I was honest about my lifestyle from the start..

Like many wise old sages have said on here, it's about compromise. My original plan was to spend four-five months in North America but I'm cutting that down to two....

I can live with that.

Anyway, we've agreed to spend a month in Argentina for Xmas/NY so she's got that to look forward to..

I guess it's all about finding the right partner in life...

__________________
Did some trips.
Rode some bikes.
Fix them for a living.
Can't say anymore.

[QUOTE=*Touring Ted*;379769



Anyway, we've agreed to spend a month in Argentina for Xmas/NY so she's got that to look forward to..

I guess it's all about finding the right partner in life...

[/QUOTE]

Ted: if your spending time in Nova Scotia your welcome at my place, let me know. I'm leaving for TDF 1 Aug and meeting my wife in Argentina at New Years as well, probably in BA's

Cheers Philip

Thanks for the offer mate..... I'll 'BEAR' it in mind....

Although, I'll be on the other side of the country.

You're gonna have a blast in TDF

__________________
Did some trips.
Rode some bikes.
Fix them for a living.
Can't say anymore.