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I'd like to hear the Ladies thoughts on this I'd like to hear the Ladies thoughts on this
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TRAVEL Hints and Tips Post your TIPS to travellers - all the interesting little tidbits you learned on the road about packing, where to get stuff, and how to cope with problems. Please make sure the subject describes the tip clearly!
Photo by Lois Pryce, schoolkids in Algeria

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Photo of Lois Pryce, UK
and schoolkids in Algeria



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  #1  
Old 19 Mar 2024
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If it were me, I'd be out on my own bike (probably in a different direction, travelling with more than one man sounds unappealing). The flipside is that when I'm "stuck" at home on my own I love it since I can get on with all sorts of projects easier when I can organise my own time, last time I demolished a wall for example.

However, not all women are the same and it's possible your wife feels conflicted in a similar way to you, in that she doesn't want to be alone for *that much* time but also doesn't want to hold you back from doing something you enjoy. If she has any friends with whom she can visit, or even just chat online to, then her solitude is optional.

It sounds like you both need to work on your communication skills, for me and my other half we usually have good talks when we're out for a walk (and we both constantly try to work on our communication) but I've previously had a lot of success with a bit of couples therapy ... sometimes only a little is needed to help people open up a bit, and then things can get sorted out.
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Old 19 Mar 2024
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Thank you everyone for your thoughts, ideas and suggestions.

My guilt is leaving her alone and what can happen at home or to her without me being there to help

She is definitely worried about me and what could happen at home.

Both of us worry about the "What Ifs"......stupid I know, but speaking for myself I have become more concerned with the "WIs" as I age

I think the first few days of me being gone are the worst.....then she will settle into her own routine
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Old 19 Mar 2024
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Well, it's normal to worry about "what-ifs" as we age, with more mileage under our belts we've seen more things break at inopportune moments!

Have you thought about carrying an emergency beacon with you? That might help assuage her worries about you. And maybe you can find someone nearby that she could call in an emergency, too.

It might also help you both to check in every day, even if it's just a little text message to say you're missing her but having fun.
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Old 20 Mar 2024
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What ifs? What if you don't take the trip? You said that this will be your last multi week motorcycle trip. If you don't take it, then you might feel like you lived a life unfulfilled of the LAST big adventure and have regret. You might even hold a grudge and be bitter against your wife. In this situation, you should take the trip because you are still your own person and have things you want to do in your life.

Have a conversation and I suggest telling your wife exactly this. You don't forsee additional long trips and this may be the last one. Ask her how you can make her happy and her time easier while you're away. Would it be phone calls every other day? Spa retreats once a week so she has something to look forward to? Maybe even plan something just the two of you for when you come back so she has something to look forward to.

At the end of the day, it comes down to love. She already misses you and worries about you.
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Old 2 Apr 2024
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After much mulling over within my tiny brain I've decided not to go.
The more I thought about leaving my wife on her own the less appealing the trip became.

There will be regrets, but in the end it was the less selfish thing to do.

Thank you all for participating in this conversation.
brian
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Old 3 Apr 2024
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Time to plan short trips, then
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Old 3 Apr 2024
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Sorry. I'm not a lady. But I'll chirp in on behalf of mine.

I left my wife (only been married two years) for five months last year to travel the Americas. Although it was guiding work. But she gave her blessing. She is very independent and self suffient though. She just kept busy on her own projects. It was tough. But only after a couple of months had passed.

It's worth noting that all of our clients were on five month trips too. All men, All married. All leaving wives at home..

It's INCREDIBLY easy to stay in touch with home now. EVERYWHERE has wifi. You can get wifi and make a call home in the middle of the Bolivian Salt flats for God's sake. Which many of our clients did.

And if there was an emergency, you're generally less than 24 hrs from home anywhere in the world now. Half that time in Europe.


Honestly, three weeks doesn't seem long at all. Although I appreciate that time is relative to the individual. The chances are that nothing will go wrong. There will be no emergencies. And you will be home before you really know you've left.

Take the trip. Life is short. Opportunties are few. You'll regret it on the day you can't travel anymore if you don't go.
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